There were our years of being married, childless, and working opposite shifts. I'd say, back then, we split the jobs pretty evenly, Matt even taking on more of the food prep since he brought me lunch most days of the week (and he's was usually working over supper so we were both on our own).
Then there was the year that Matt was in school full-time (15ish credit hours), working full-time (33 hours), and doing full-time clinical (32 hours). I basically took care of everything around the house that year because he had no time. (We still refer to that time, almost 10 years later, as the year of hell. It majorly sucked.)
Then there was 3½ years where we were FINALLY working basically the same hours, working on trying to become parents, and back to splitting the jobs.
Then there was where we are now and have been for almost 5 years: me staying (mostly) at home; Matt working; a kid to raise, take care of, and wake us up much earlier on the weekends than in our prior life (and he still sleeps past 8 most Saturdays and Sundays).
Things have shifted, I've gotten a lot more routine about my housekeeping (here) and I think we're in a pretty good routine now. Everything subject to change with another kid!
In our early days of marriage, or maybe even before, we talked about what we each wanted to do around the house. Matt was going to be in charge of doing the laundry, mowing the grass, shoveling snow, and repairs (and house projects that I keep stacking on, although I was certainly more help when there wasn't also a kid to watch).
I was going to handle pretty much everything else: house cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prep (when we were actually home together for meals), money tracking, etc.
Other than a few times when Matt was super, extra busy with school or the bathroom remodel, we've always folded and put away our own laundry. We do this every other Monday evening while watching something on tv and it doesn't take much time. I guess I've also mowed the lawn occasionally when Matt is really busy with other, larger projects (that I definitely don't want to do, like the bathroom and the porch foundation).
This felt pretty fair and other than the year Matt was in school, it's what we stuck to for our first 7 years of marriage.
Then we got a kid. And I (mostly) quit working.
Now I was home a lot, not really with free time because, hello, kid. But definitely time to get housework done.
So I do almost all the housework, cleaning, organizing, menu planning. I took over laundry, which I really don't mind, it's one of my favorite domestic tasks (although we still each fold and put away our own. We've never learned, after 12 years of marriage, how the other likes things folded. And the one time I organized Matt's multitude of t-shirts by color taught me that I also have no idea how he likes things put away. Matt washes all of his scrubs because I've also never memorized which ones can and can't go in the dryer. But he has so many that's about a once a month task.) I do the majority of the childcare, but that's because I'm the one home with Luke the 40+ hours a week that Matt is at work.
I do our major grocery stock-ups every other week, following my menu plans. Matt goes in the off weeks, to get milk and produce, but also because sometimes it's nice just to pick out your own cereal or buy a few items that look good.
I still, always, handle all the money stuff, paying bills, tracking the budget, filing our taxes, and asking Matt what he spent $2 cash on last week because we are slightly short...then usually realizing I spent cash and completely forgot about it (and yes, I track our cash that closely). I have worked in accounting in some respect for almost 13 years and my brain is definitely more wired for it.
Matt does most of the mowing but I (or Luke) usually do the shoveling, unless it's snowing on a weekend and then I send them out to shovel. But since I'm the one home most weekday mornings and we are certainly not the kind of people who think to get up 45 minutes earlier just to shovel...the shoveling is on me (or, again, Luke. He realllllly likes shoveling).
With only three of us at home we eat leftovers multiple nights a week so while I do most of the regular cooking (generally while Matt is playing with Luke), Matt helps get things around on leftover nights and grills a lot in the summer. (I could learn how to grill...but then I'd have to do it...I'm fine just passing off that task.)
He's also handles the multitude of home projects, which have (mostly) gotten more complex over the years. Most of them lately involving woodworking which I really appreciate but have no desire to learn myself.
I think we split childcare duties pretty evenly, when Matt's not working. We alternate bath/bedtime every night. We both read him stories, get him to clean up his messes, and spend time with Luke. There are seasons when Matt is taking him more (Luke likes "working" in the basement with Dad) or when I am more (Matt is spending hours every evening under the porch, fixing the foundation) but we agree it feels pretty even, on the whole. Although I do take care of most of the shopping (clothes, shampoo, winter coat, etc.) appointments (annual doctor's visit, dentist), and school things (like knowing when kindergarten registration actually is). That's probably part of just being a mom, especially one that stays home.
Matt makes the majority of the money, I take care of the majority of the household running (and, in turn, spend more of the money). There have been ZERO days since I stopped working full-time that I wished I was working instead of hanging out with Luke so I think it's all worked out pretty well.
Last fall I was talking about going to the BMV to register our new car and told Matt "It must be nice to have someone who takes care of all this stuff for you." Then thought about it a second before adding "And it's really nice not being the one who has to make all the money.". He definitely doesn't get out of doing things around the house but most of the housework I see as my job, while his is his actual job.
We both have different strengths. I am very detailed oriented and like to have thing clean and organized. I know Matt's just not going to notice the little things that bother me. Just like I'm not going to design and build Luke a swing set (um...I'm not going to do either of those, at all). It'd be pretty boring to married to someone just like me and our differences help each other.
This is the plan now, all subject to change with kid #2! And also, as I ramp up my weekly work hours from 3 to a whopping 5. I know, big household changes there.
How do you split the jobs in your house? I'm sure everyone does it so differently!
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