Time is one of our most valuable resources and like nearly anything valuable, it's hard to use it well. Same with money, it's nearly impossible to use every dollar well and nobody uses every minute of their life well. It's just a fact.
However, many of us would probably like to improve how we spend both of those things. And at this stage in my life (after years of budgeting, and continuing to budget), I am more concerned with spending my time well. It's the most cliche parent thing to say but these years with my kids at home seem to be FLYING by. I don't know how we've been parenting for nearly a decade and now we're well over half way to our oldest being an "adult". IT'S CRAZY.
Laura Vanderkam has been my (to borrow a phrase from The Lazy Genius) time management guru for many years now, 8ish? I read one of her books when Luke was little and then have read every one since and listen to her short daily podcast Mondays-Fridays. We lead different lives, she has 3 more kids than me and works full time while I hardly work at all, but most of her philosophies and ideas work for me too. I recently read her latest book Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters and I think it's my favorite of hers.
This is not a book of time management hacks like clean your whole kitchen while you have something in the microwave or scrub the shower while you are in it. These are strategies for really making the most of your life. None of us want to be frazeled and feel like life is just speeding by us and her strategies can help your life feel calmer and fuller.
I don't remember where I was first introduced to the idea that changing up routine and doing new things expands your memory but it was either Laura or Gretchen Rubin. It's how the first day of vacation in a new place can feel SO LONG because your brain is experiencing all new things. When we just go through nearly the same routine at home: take kids to school, clean the house, pick up kids, go through homework, sports, showers, to bed - day after day after day...things just start to blend together. Your brain doesn't need to remember yesterday's school pick-up from one last week. However, your first day at the beach rental is a novelty, even if it do it every year. It's still something out of routine from normal and that makes so much more of it stand out when looking back. It's easy to stick to routine (I LOVE a routine) but also will make your life feel fuller if you stretch and change a few things.
We can't go on vacation every week but we might be able to fit in some smaller adventures every week, which follows one of her 9 rules: one big adventure and one small adventure every week. She defines "big adventure" as lasting about 4 hours or an afternoon and a "small adventure" as taking an hour or two, such as lunch with a friend. We aren't perfect about this, at all, but it does make me think differently about our weeks. I will FOR SURE count our dates as one of these (depending how long it lasts). Even a long walk to look at fall foliage would count or an afternoon at the zoo, even if it's something you do fairly often in the summer. Just getting out of the house and making some of those new memories for your brain.
Adventures can cost money (but don't have to, leaf looking is generally free unless you're paying to enter a park) but some of her tips are much cheaper, starting with number 1: Have a bed time. Who else tends to stay up too late in order to "get something done". **raises own hand** Those post putting kids to bed hours are PRECIOUS and I often sacrifice sleep in order to "get things done". It's a terrible habit which makes me tired and less focused the next day. And when I'm tired I make worse choices in terms of food (more junk) and tend to stare at my phone longer. Sleep is SO GOOD FOR HUMANS. I even tell myself "your tomorrow self will thank you for being well rested" and it hasn't helped (much) yet. But I do know that I make better choices about so many things when I am well rested.
These are just two of the 9 strategies in Tranquility by Tuesday but all of them gave me something to think about. I've been reading about time management for many years and I do think I've made strides in many ways here but there is ALWAYS room for improvement. Especially as we are entering the sports years with our older son, life is certainly busier and I am on the lookout for ways to stay more tranquil (which is hard when you are eating supper at 8pm after double wrestling events). Really, I should start with giving myself that bedtime and sticking to it but, even as I struggle with that one, there are others I can work on too.
If you are a busy parent looking to make more out of the years your kids are home or an empty nester or someone who doesn't even have kids, I think there is something we could all get out of this book on how to calm chaos and make life even a little more enjoyable and memorable. Time is so precious and it's worthwhile trying to use it better!
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