Intake

Today we officially started the adoption process.  Paid our first fee and got our packet of information.  The packet is actually much smaller than I was expecting.  I seriously thought we'd be getting half a ream of paper.  It's maybe 50 sheets.  Half of them are easy (sign this saying you don't have fire arms, sign this saying you won't abuse the kid, etc.).  The only one that really is overwhelming is where we each have to write a detailed essay about ourselves.  That one is a lot.  We're letting it all stew for a few days and are going to go through it all together this weekend.  Get the easy ones out of the way and read through the harder ones so we can start thinking about it.

We have approximately 60 days to get everything filled out and returned to them.  Once they see we have all that done then we schedule a home study.  The social worker (I guess that's what you call her?) will come to our house and interview us each separately about our lives, each other, basically everything.  We'll show her we have smoke detectors and fire extinguishers, show her the room that will be the baby's.  That meeting usually lasts about 2 hours.

After that visit we are interviewed together again at their office.  Then she has 60 days to compile our official home study visit report.  During that time we work on a profile of us.  Basically try to sell ourselves to birth parents.  She let us look at some, they were about the size of a church bulletin, printed in color, talking about the couple with pictures.  She said that profile can be what stresses people out the most.  This is how birth parents know us and decide if they want us.  A little overwhelming.  And after all this work it can be little things that they decide on.  She said one mom picked a couple because the like the Colts, one was because they had a dog, one was because they played guitar.  It's scary/hard/overhauling to figure out what could make people like or dislike us.  

Once the official report is done and we have our profile printed, we are on the official waiting list.  This could all happen by mid July.  There are currently 9 people on their waiting list and last year they placed 8 babies.  We could be waiting months or years. 

Right now I'm excited about it all.  It's very easy to focus on the negative - that we can't have kids - and that's kinda been my thought process for the last few weeks.  I'm going to do my best to focus on the positive - somehow we are going to get a baby, expand our family.  We're going to do it. 


On the plus side, it doesn't seem like it'll be as much as we were expecting.  After all the basic fees they charge a set percent of your gross income with a minimum and maximum.  We'll end up paying on the low end of what we thought.  That was a nice surprise.


The other big thing we talked about tonight is when we finally tell people.  I originally wanted to wait until all the paperwork was in but we need references so that can't wait.  I think we decided in 3 weeks.  This week is too soon, the next weekend we're skiing, and the weekend after is my sister's bridal shower plus I will just be recovering from surgery.  It really will be a relief to share.