Thursday, April 11, 2013

FAQs from the past few days

Trying to avoid answering the same questions over and over and over again:

Q: When is he coming home?
A: Earliest is Friday and it's looking likely.

Q: Why is he in the NICU?
A: A variety of reasons.  Since we've been involved it's been because of "seizure like activity" that he was having where he would stop breathing, mostly when eating.  He hasn't had one since Sunday morning. Doctors want to observe for at least 5 days since that which is why Friday is his earliest come home date.  He's passed every test (and he's had A LOT, most before us), eats well, and is gaining weight.

Q: Did you meet the birth mother?
A: Yes, a few times along with her parents.  We met with her, her parents, the social worker, and attorney on Sunday after she had picked us from our profile.  Until she signed over custody on Tuesday (she had her own medical reasons for not doing it sooner) we had to be with her to see him.  So she and her mother were with us when we met him on Sunday and when we saw him on Monday.  We saw them again on Tuesday after she signed and before we did.  One of the most emotional moments of my life.

Q: Why did she give him up?
A: She told us she loved him but couldn't give him what he deserved.  I don't know what all information has been spread about her but these are the important facts: she's 25, not married, no other children.  She was adopted herself through Catholic Charities.  The most important part is that she gave him life and she loved him enough to give him to us.  We are forever and eternally grateful for what she did.  I can't even type this without sobbing. =)

Q: What do you need?
A: We have what we need.  (diapers, wipes, clothes, formula, bottles, crib, car seat, etc.)  We are registered at Target for some bigger items we'd like or stuff we don't need right now. Of course, we won't turn down any gifts. =)  (We didn't register for clothes, books, or blankets figuring people could pick those out if they wanted.)

Q: Have you seen him every day?
A: Yes.  Not as much before we got custody because we could only see her with birth mother.  Now we've been up more but still not all day (we still have things to do to get ready for him and still recover from NYC!).  We could spend the night if we wanted (but haven't and don't plan to).  Trying to get good sleep while we can. =)

Q: How much time do you have off?
A: I'm basically a stay at home mom now.  I quit and was replaced in December but have been helping out part time through tax season.  When I called my boss Sunday night to tell him we had a baby he was very good about me actually quitting a week before 4/15.  I went in Monday to finish up some things and will still work very part time (10 hours a month?).  Matt took Tuesday off (when we signed papers and I was slightly going crazy) and then went back Wednesday and Thursday when we found out Luke would be in the hospital for a while.  He'll be off tomorrow (Friday) and then 2 full weeks after.  That is the plan.  He's helped cover A LOT of maternity leaves since he's been there so they are pretty accommodating.

Q: Do you feel like parents?
A: More and more each day.  Having our parents come up really made it seem more real because for once we knew more than someone!  Most of the nurses we've had have been with him since before we were so they know more, which is helpful.  But then our parents came and it was nice to show what we know.  =)  And Luke didn't even let us get through the take-home training videos so that was a good preview for life with a baby...

Q: Are you still running a mini marathon?
A: Well, nobody has asked this but it was part of one of my first "holy crap how are we going to do all this with a baby" freakouts. But yes, that is the plan.  We already have a babysitter for the actual race (Grandma) and offers to babysit while we train (although we can do that separately too).


Q: Is this an open or closed adoption
A: Definitely not closed since we met her multiple times.  We probably know more about each other than we should (his birth last name is still all over the room and what the hospital is going by, they can't change it for now).  We were told she would like annual pictures and letters, see how he's doing.  They mentioned wanting to watch him play sports eventually when he gets to that point (we already told them wrestling is likely).

Q: Why Luke??
A: Mostly from the Bible Luke, maybe a tiny bit Star Wars too.  Haha.  When Matt told me he liked Luke (many many years ago, about when we went to NYC the first time) the first think I said was "Skywalker".  But it's a good solid, normal name.  Not that non normal is bad.  Just a good name.  And James is Matt's middle name.

I have another post almost done with the story of the past week, how we found out, etc. (because I know people are curious about that too).  But I have a baby to go visit. =)


Erin Sherburne said...

:-) I am so happy for you and I can't wait to see Luke (and you two, too!)!

Anonymous said...

And now I'm crying, I am so happy for you guys! Liz. :)

Pam said...

I am so happy/excited for you and Matt!!! And I have a whole tub of clothes for you to borrow (I do plan on visiting soon!). It has lots of oneies and all that good stuff (Oliver didn't even wear all of it). Let me know when you will be ready with visitors :)

DD said...

So excited for you, you make me cry every time I read about it! Luke is a lucky little man!

diana said...

Thank you thank you thank you!