Friday, April 12, 2013

Let me tell you the story about the call that changed {our} destiny....

First, the answer to the question I know everyone is thinking right now...Yes, I did title a post about the most important phone calls of my life with a quote from the lead single off Backstreet Boys' 8x Platinum 2000 CD, Black & Blue.

The answer the other questions everyone is probably wondering (I would be) here is how it all went down....

It all started in NYC.

Wednesday, April 3rd
When we got to NYC around 7pm I called the guy I had booked a suite with to let me know we were there and were on our way (as we had discussed the previous Saturday).  He told me he just found out that they couldn't rent because of new short-term rental laws but that they booked us in a hotel downtown and he was paying for it.  This is important later.

Thursday, April 4th
We got up for our first day in NYC.  Ang & Bri went to breakfast right away (in footie pjs) while Matt and I got around and when they were back we went down.  I left my phone in the room because who would be texting me?  We got back at 9:47 and saw that I had a text from our social worker: "Hey Diana!  It's (social worker) from CC...please check your email.  I just emailed you about a potential placement".  So I called Matt over to "look at something", showed him the text, and then read the e-mail together.  Luckily the girls take some time getting ready.  At 9:49 I called the social worker in the stairway of the hotel, the first thing she asked was how I was doing...I said I had no idea and tried not to cry.  It was all so incredibly overwhelming and confusing.  We had a 9 minute phone conversation where she filled in what she knew.  She had had an attorney come to her asking for some potential adoptive parents and she (social worker) wanted to see if we were ok with being presented (adoption speak for being shown to birth parents as possibilities).  Since it was outside Catholic Charities she needed us to sign a consent before she could pass on our profile and home study.  I got Matt, told him what I knew, we decided to go for it and called the social worker back.  This was 10:04.

We had to get going because we had 10:30 tickets for the 9/11 Memorial which sounds like a lame excuse but it had only been 15 minutes since we found all this out, plus we were trying to keep things normal for Ang & Bri.  So, off we went for 12 hours on our feet in NYC.  Pretty much all I thought about all day was this baby out there who might be ours.  Matt & I had a few whispered conversations but couldn't really talk.  That is probably what kept us sane.

We finally got back to the hotel at 10:11pm and I asked the front desk about printing and faxing something for me.  I had told the social worker we were in NYC and wouldn't be home until early Sunday so she knew it might be awhile.  Luckily the front desk staff was incredibly helpful (the whole trip) and let me print and fax the consent.  This is where the whole lodging switcheroo paid off.  If we had been at our planned suite we wouldn't have had easy access to a fax machine.  It was  God thing we got moved.  We probably could have found a Kinkos or something but this was easier.

Friday, April 5th
I had a 8:01am e-mail from the social worker saying she got our consent.  At 2:02 I noticed I had a missed call (at 1:58) from the social worker.  I know exactly where we were standing when I saw this (right outside Grand Central Station, looking up at the Chrysler Building).  I showed Matt but I had no way to call her back there since New York streets are very loud.  It was 3:45 before we got to a quiet place in Central Park.  We had ice cream and then I went to return her phone call (the ice cream picture I posted to Facebook was right after I got back from the phone call.)

That's when she told me we were picked, that the birth mom didn't really consider anyone else of her presented profiles.  It really wasn't surprising though...we just knew this was it.  That 11 minute phone call was one of the best and probably most important I've ever had.  She filled in some more information and had answers for a few questions from the previous day.  She had explained the NYC issue and that was actually ok with them, they could meet anytime after 4pm on Sunday.  I told her whenever would work we were free once we were back in town and went to church.  I remember exactly where I was when I found out about Princess Di dying, the Columbine school shootings, and 9/11.  I will also remember where exactly in Central Park I was when I made this phone call.

My view during the phone call
I went back to the benches and told Matt by showing him the appointment in my phone.  Then I put bandaids on some blisters (we walked A LOT on this trip).  We took off to take more senior pics of Ang and see more of Central Park.  I told Matt all that I could when the girls were far enough away.  The social worked texted me some more information, like that we would get to name him and insurance stuff.

How Matt found out we were picked.
We tried to continue the rest of the trip as usual and actually we pretty much did.  Being in NYC was a wonderful distraction from the meeting in 48 hours.  If we were home I would have been going crazy.  Seriously.  Just like I have since we've been home.  It was hard keeping it from the girls but we didn't want to say anything until it was final.  Keeping it a secret probably really really helped our sanity.  Seriously.

Sunday, April 7th
We got home (late) and went to church/brunch (where I was texting with the social worker).  Had 4 hours at home before our meeting and things were pretty normal, we unpacked, I went for a run, and we looked at NYC pics.  About 4pm I started to get really nervous.  I had woken up excited (on the train) but now the nerves were kicking in, majorly.  It's a good thing Matt drove to the hospital because I was a bit of a wreck.

Shortly after 5 we met birth mom and birth grandparents.  Their adoption attorney and our social worker were also there.  It went really really well.  She told us why she picked up (family was a big part, and that we didn't have kids).  We talked about things we have in common, etc.  A little after 6 we got to meet our son.  I was a bit nervous at that point but the birth family was so nice and accommodating.  It was about as perfect as it could be.

We spent about 90 minutes with him in the NICU.  We both got to hold him and I fed him.  It was crazy thinking of him as almost ours.  Birth Mom and Grandma were there and we talked about various things.  Found out more things we had in common (birth mom and I are both big readers and stubborn, and she also likes NYC a lot).  It was surreal to say the least.

We left at 8.  On our way to the car we discussed if we should tell people now or wait until it was more final.  But really, we couldn't wait.  We got back to the car and both called our parents.  I think I burst into tears the second my mom picked up the phone.  And then cried every time I told someone.  But it was pretty awesome.  I've though so many times about making those calls, how we would do it.  In the middle we got a call from the social worker who had a call from the attorney who had a call from birth mom (since we left) saying it was a go.  I cried then too.  It was a lot of crying.  We didn't pull out of the parking lot until 9pm so our planned Target stop was canceled.

Monday, April 8th
We were able to see him for about an hour in the evening (we both had worked that day) but only with birth mom and grandma so we didn't stick around real long.  We went to Target on the way home for diapers, wipes, formula, etc.  The stuff we would need.

Tuesday, April 9th
We had been told on Sunday he may have been coming home on Tuesday so we were going a little crazy trying to figure things out, finish the nursery, etc.  We went to the hospital at 3 and ended up being 4:30 until we signed papers in the lobby.  I think we only signed our names twice each.  That was it.  The attorney said we have to do most of our paperwork up front but then when it actually happens there isn't much for us to do. 

After that we were able to go up to the NICU whenever we wanted.  And we got new name tags:

We got info from doctors, talked with nurses, spent a lot of time in that room until we brought him home today.  It's been busy dealing with insurance, pharmacy, scheduling follow-up visits, finishing things around the house, trying to keep everyone informed, showing off pictures, etc.

It's all been such an incredible blessing how it has all worked out.  Too many God things to name.  Starting around St. Patrick's Day, every time I would pray for the baby I felt God telling me "soon".  I told Matt this around Easter (at which point Luke was already born).  We knew it was coming.  And then it did.  And it's been crazy/wonderful.  I can't even begin to explain all the emotions and feelings attached to this.  Some of everything?

 About a month ago I read "What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self" and found this quote:

 “You will be so happy you didn't get pregnant. Because this child will fill your life so full of love that you will thank God every day that somehow it was just meant to be.{He} was meant to be yours.” 
And yes, it's true.  After all these years of trying and waiting and trying to patient...all of a sudden it happened in just a few days.  It's been crazy and I still can't really believe that it has happened.   
The crazy part of this is how we kinda knew it would happen when we were in New York.  The amount of times we said "what if we get a call when we are in New York?" or "how awesome would it be to get a baby as soon as we got back from New York?"...we talked about it A LOT.  I was kinda relieved when we made it to leaving without that phone call because I have no idea what we would have done if it came a few days earlier.  We had Amtrak and lodging already paid for and the girls were counting on us.

We made it on 12 vacations before baby, until literally the last day.  Now he is our next great adventure. =)


Anonymous said...

Great Story, I am tears just reading it! Mike and I are sooo soo happy for you and Matt. Luke is a very lucky little boy!!!
Mike, Ann, Eleanor, Lucy and Margaret

Jen said...

Okay, Totally teared up reading that. (I had a feeling I would). Can't wait to meet him. There were too many things in your story of the way it happened, the only explanation was it was/is a God Thing. You should send RJG a brief version of that story. :)

Erin Sherburne said...

So happy for you!! and I love being able to follow your story (along with cooking and home improvement) along the way!

Pam said...

I started crying when I got your text and almost cried again reading this post. I am just so excited for you both!! Get ready for all kinds of crazy adventures/experiences :)

DD said...

Loved reading this story, I am at work and had to take breaks several times to keep from crying =) Luke is such a little blessing, we will continue to pray for him and for you guys! Love you!

diana said...

Thank you so much, everyone. We are amazed at all the love our little guy has gotten. =)