Well. What to say about 2020. I don't think it's a year most of us over a certain age will forget yet, looking back at pictures when prepping for my year-end posts, I found moments I had otherwise forgotten. COVID-19 isn't going to be forgotten anytime soon and yet a lot of things that impacted already had escaped my mind. Maybe for my own sanity in parts but also, it was still a full year with 366 days. A lot of what happened from mid-March on wasn't what we were expecting 2020 to hold but, also, a lot was.
I just reread the post I wrote to close out 2019 where I said:
I hope 2020 brings us a whole lot more sleeping through the night (reading back this post it feels I am obsessed with sleep, which I am, when I am not getting enough), more adventures, both the planned and unplanned variety. I really have no idea what life will look like when I sit down to write this post again in a year but we'll just keep going, keep looking for the good, and keep living. God's got this.
And you know what, 2020 DID give me more sleeping through the night and we DID have adventures, just not always the ones we expected to have (corona homeschooling was DEFINITELY an adventure). We had NO idea what was coming for us in 2020 but we kept going and kept looking for the good. There is always good.
The first 2½ months of the year seem so quaint and peaceful when looking back on them. I had our porch Christmas lights turning on every morning and evening until March 1st and when I put them back up at the end of November this year I just kept thinking..."the last time these were up we had no idea what was coming for us...". We hosted a family dinner with my parents and 3 in-town sisters and their families on March 1st, something we couldn't and wouldn't have done even a few weeks later. I thought the big news for March would be Matt finally getting on a 4-10s schedule (meaning he works four 10 hour days and has a weekday off every week). That started March 2nd and has been amazing. March - May it meant a day he could help with homeschooling and since then it has often been the morning I go into work or, if it's a Friday, when we go on a date. His new schedule has been game changing.
We quarantined pretty hardcore from mid-March through May. Matt working at the hospital means good job security in a pandemic but it is also WORKING AT A HOSPITAL IN A PANDEMIC. There were definitely moments that was very stressful, especially in the beginning when we didn't know if Matt would eventually have to quarantine from the rest of us (he never did). The last two weeks of March were maybe the hardest of the year. We went right into 5 days a week virtual schooling and with Matt working at the hospital and all the unknowns that brought...it was very stressful. I cried a lot of those days. While everyone on the internet seemed to be celebrating copious free time I was overwhelmed with schooling one kid, keeping a toddler happy and occupied, while also trying to stock up our pantry and deal with a husband who was possibly being exposed every day he was at work. It was very hard. Then we had a week off school for spring break and went down to just 3 virtual school days a week afterwards and that really helped my sanity.
So while we definitely appreciated Matt's steady paychecks and the free meals he's gotten from the hospital to keep the staff happy (he says it's amazing how quickly people stop complaining as soon as they start getting free food), it brought challenges too. Matt got the first part of his COVID vaccine right before Christmas and will get the second part in early January. Mostly good feelings about that, it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it'll still be a long time until I can get one, he is way more exposed than me.
I bookended our strict quarantine with doctor appointments - 3 the first week of homeschool and 4 as soon as homeschooling was done. I had 13 total from March - October which is A LOT, especially since I had to get sitters for a lot of those since I could no longer take Sam along to my RA visits. I got a new diagnosis to go with my RA: psoriasis which, strangely, can be triggered by RA meds and also handled by them (I also learned to give myself a new kind of shot in 2020!). I got allergy tested for skin allergies (stickers all over my back for 3 days wasn't fun). I picked a good year to need a lot of doctor appointments (sarcasm, not a great year for that but am glad to have some answers and fixes). (And some of those appointments were just things like our annual adoption physical, our normal dental cleaning and such. Psoriasis, my continuing skin issues, and continuing to manage my RA are the worst of our current health woes.)
Our vacation was canceled thanks to COVID and we spent part of that week at the lake but then part of it painting the back of our house. You can guess which part of that was more fun. We worked on projects in the backyard - putting in raised beds, the string lights, planning for a sandbox that never happened (although Luke has been digging under the swings so much, he might have it dug out for us by spring). Matt built a new kitchen table, we replaced a light, finished our long in-process bedroom remodel with a new headboard and nightstands (I painted that room almost a year before we got Sam...finally finished over 3 years later with the last of the furniture).
We spent more nights at the lake than any other summer, thanks to the canceled vacation and Matt's 4 day weekends once a month. We had a working pontoon most of the summer which meant a lot of sunset cruises and bedtimes WAY LATER than during the school year (lake us: "Let's leave for a sunset cruise at 9:45pm!" School year home us: "BED AT 8PM!"). We spent a lot of time on the pontoon which was a highlight of the year, for sure (and a good way to social distance...if you are within 6 feet of another boat...that's bad).
We've been back to in-person Mass since the end of May (with masks, every other pew, no singing, etc.). Christmas Mass was sad without singing but an improvement over watching Easter Mass on TV. Luke has been back at in-person school since August and, amazingly, hasn't missed a day yet. That is a miracle. A lot of the summer felt strangely normal, just with masks to go to the zoo, library, and Mass (about the only places we went). Numbers were low enough that we felt ok about seeing people outside and it was SO WONDERFUL to see people again.
Never before has being an introvert felt like a superpower but it did this year, especially in the spring when we were seeing practically nobody. And on top of being an introvert, I'm a introverted homebody so...large parts of 2020 weren't horrible for me. And then I'd go to a doctor appointment and be the chattiest I've ever been at doctor appointments and realize...oh...I DO miss seeing people.
I read the same number of books as I have the prior two years (175). I ran the second most miles I ever have (beat out 2016 by .18 miles (still counts!), 2017, the year I ran my half-marathon, was still 100+ miles away). Rather proud of that! I read A LOT of books to the boys, adding almost 900 to Luke's total (a few books from 3200) and 1100 to Sam's (1400!, we killed that "1000 books before kindergarten"). We did walks/bike rides/powerwheel drives around the neighborhood, marveled at the beauty of spring and fall. We spent time in the backyard around the kiddie pool, under the string lights. We had ice cream cones and tacos outside and I made more margaritas. Matt & I have been trying out new local restaurants on our dates (and eating at parks when it was warm, in the car when it wasn't).
I've spent a lot of time contemplating and processing others' views on race in America and the seriousness of COVID. I don't have answers on either but am constantly trying to learn and process and figure it out. The election and all the name calling and things that came with that. Those were heavy parts of the year. We are fortunate to have good health and that nobody close to us has suffered greatly from COVID.
I said I didn't know what to expect in 2020 and none of us thought the year would be this. However, as much as we have to learn and change and improve, I still want to focus on the good of the year. Of Sam's constantly expanding vocabulary and how Luke can actually be helpful with some things. Watching the boys play together and be nice to each other (this DEFINITELY doesn't happen all the time). The springtime runs under the flowering trees and fall runs under the colors of the foliage. All the laughs and joy we've shared in our home with the 4 of us. This year forced me to look in, even more than usual, and examine my thoughts and beliefs but also focus on what we can control within our 4 walls with the 4 of us.
Luke keeps telling us that he'll be sad when 2020 is over because it's been a good year for him. We laugh every time and tell him that he might be the only one who thinks that but, also, I'm glad it's been a good year for him. That we've been able to keep some normalcy and that he still had a lot of fun. Kids are resilient but they are also watching and copying us.
We won't forget COVID or the effects of it for a long time, but some day life WILL be back to normal and this year will seem like a weird blip ("Remember when we didn't go to Mass for 2+ months and had to wear masks everywhere??"). I feel very lucky that I've gotten to spend it with my husband, my boys. When I look back on this year I want to remember that. That there was still a lot of joy and laughter here at home, even in the midst of a global pandemic.
We got through 2020. I know enough to not try to guess what 2021 will hold (we're still listed for a 3rd baby, that could theoretically show up at anytime!). 2020 taught my "loves to plan" self to hold plans loosely (although I still LOVE planning) but I do hope we keep looking for the joy (and continue to get decent sleep, I never take sleep for granted). God's still got this. Always.
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