Book Love: How to be a Happier Parent by KJ Dell'Antonia

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Of all the things in my life that cause me stress, parenting is probably at or near the top.  This is a wide variety of topics - from finding sitters, school related things, making sure the boys have a reasonably healthy diet, and, the biggie, discipline.  There is a lot that goes into parenting, it's at times way easier and so much harder than I ever expected.

When this book popped into my life, somehow, I have no idea where, I was immediately interested.  Parenting can bring me a lot of joy and happiness.  It can also not.

I've read a decent amount of parenting books, from getting your kids to eat anything to parenting with less to getting your kids to talk to you to navigating your marriage after kids.  I haven't read many on changes I can make to my parenting specifically to improve my experience with it (although, having a good relationship with my husband certainly affects my happiness, as well as having less junk around the house).

This book, How to be a Happier Parents: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute by K.J. Dell'Antonia did that. 

She uses helpful, practical advice in nine categories to give ideas of what you, as a parent, can do to improve your own, and your kids' and spouses', quality of life.  She shares stories from her own parenting of 4 kids (including one adopted, which I always appreciate) as well as the lives of people she knows and surveyed for her book.  It's not just "this is how I do it and it's the best way" but giving different examples of what has worked for her or others.  Sometimes that's all I need to look at my own experience a little differently and brainstorm what makes sense for our family. 

She also references many experts and authors as well as various studies to back up what she's suggesting.  She's not telling me my kids needs to do these chores just like her kids, but that here are proven benefits to making your kids responsible and here's how some family tackle that.

The side benefit to interviewing so many author experts is that if you really like what those people have to say, you can go read their book on the subject.  I was especially convinced when she included multiple books I've already read and largely agreed with. 

The nine topics covered are:

• Mornings
• Chores
• Siblings
• Sports & Activities
• Homework
• Screens 
• Discipline
• Food, Fun, and Family Time
• Free time, vacations, holidays, birthdays, and other on-demand "fun"

I feel like I got useful advice from every chapter, even if some don't apply to our family life right now (most of her advice on siblings doesn't work when one of them is 10 months old and Luke is involved with ZERO sports/activities, something we are in no rush to change.  Until he goes to wrestling camp next month.)


If want to raise my kids to be good adults (and I do) and all that groundwork needs laid now.   I immediately made changes to both our morning routine and in how Luke is assigned and does chores.  Both were small(ish) changes but are slowly building to bigger ones as he gets older (I cannot wait for the day Luke is old enough to make dinner once a week, something I very much want to implement) but we need to start now. 

There are many non-fiction books that I feel I should read every other year or so and this is one of them.  It helped me see the bigger picture to parenting, to start getting my kid(s) on the right track now, and ways to keep us all happier at home. 

This parenting thing is a journey, some days are good, some are not.  But I want my good to outweigh the bad and I think this book gave me some real ideas and advice.  I highly recommend to all parents.  Who doesn't want to be happier?

Goodreads | Amazon