Screens are so pervasive in our every day lives, as much as I am constantly trying to limit them in our household, this is not the first time I've written on the topic. Even going to the zoo I am trying to keep Luke away from the tablets at various exhibits. And it's not just communal screen like watching tv, but also personal devices. I am usually shocked and a little horrified at how much time I can spend on my phone in a day. That's not talking on the phone (Sam just assumes if I am on the phone that I am talking to my Mom, because her and Matt are about 95% of my actual phone conversations), but my eyeballs on the screen of my phone. I've had a smartphone for 8 years and it has fully integrated itself into my life.
Keeping our screen time to a reasonable amount and considering what restrictions and rules we'll put around it for our boys is something that is often on my mind. I don't want them to see me with my face constantly glued to my phone. And I don't want my face glued to my phone! Part of expecting them to have good boundaries when it comes to screen is by demonstrating good boundaries myself! This is constantly a work in process.
One of the biggest time sucks for me on my phone is social media. I'm guessing that is true for many people. I also know that I just shouldn't go on social media when I am tired because it is never easier to just keep scrolling than when I am exhausted and should be in bed. Just this week I finally set a rule for myself that I can't check social media, of any kind, after 8pm. After then I am just too tired and am bound to waste too much time.
I don't think that social media is inherently evil; it's all in how it is used. Laura Tremaine of the 10 Things to Tell You Podcast recently had an episode discussing if you should post pictures of your kids online. It was a fascinating listen and a conversation I really appreciated listening in on. It was a small part of that episode that really stuck with me: What is your motivation for posting on social media?
That really got me thinking. Why do I post on social media? What I am looking to get out of it? What do I like about social media that keeps me coming back? Other than the dopamine hits from receiving likes and comments?
There isn't one good answer to the Why, every person may have a different reason, or a wide range of reasons. There are influencers who do it for money and fame. There are far flung family members who do it to keep in touch. And there are a whole bunch of reasons in between. There is science to back up that getting the likes and follows and comments does things in your brain that makes them addicting (I wish I could remember where all I've read about that). That makes it easy for us all to keep posting. But why else do I post and how do I decide what to share?
The main social medias that I personally use are Facebook and Instagram. I have more in real life friends on Facebook so I use that to mostly see what they are all doing. I mainly post there myself on milestone events - the boys' birthdays and adoption days, first and last day of school, Halloween (which is my personal favorite time to be on social media ever - I LOVE seeing all the dressed up kids over a ~48 hour period), a family on the jet ski picture once a summer, family pictures at Easter and Christmas, and maybe a handful of other times a year. I have friends and family members on there that I don't see in person regularly and it's nice to see what they are up to without having to individually text or see everyone. I probably only check Facebook 2-3 times a week and only on my computer.
I keep two Instagram accounts - one public and one private. I think I have murkier reasons there for posting. On my public account I occasionally post about new blog posts, the reason being to drive traffic here (and maybe earn me a little money). I also have been posting about a picture book most Thursdays for awhile, because I have read A LOT of picture books and since I like getting recommendations of ones to read, I figure others do too. I also do a "happy list" on most Fridays - just a handful of things that are currently making me happy. Some weeks this is HARD but I know a gratitude practice is beneficial and it really does help me think back over the past 7 days and what has been really good, even in the midst of tough weeks.
It's all the other posts that I honestly can't articulate why I post. I know I do like scrolling back through my feed and seeing the change of the seasons and what life looks like at different points. I like the community of sharing seasonal changes and knowing others are participating in the same seasons at the same times. Sometimes I think I have something funny to say or something emotional (weird if I've made myself tear up reading old social media posts of my own? These are almost all adoption related.) Some of it is very well for those dopamine hits but I don't want that to be my only reason. I like sharing books I've really enjoyed and I like seeing what others are reading (I ALWAYS want to know what everyone is reading). Occasionally some of it is probably to show off my super exciting and glamorous life. That is said with heavy sarcasm but the underlying statement is true - who isn't posting on social media without ever wanting to show off? Very very few people I would guess.
There isn't one right reason for posting but I think it is very important to think about what the possible reasons before posting. As screen become ever more present in our lives, it's important to not just consider your time spent but also your motivations in the first place. I don't have good answers here but it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I think is worth a broader conversation and conscientious. We'll all trying to figure out the pervasive screens together!
Related posts:
Cutting My Social Media Time (Feb. 2019)
How an(other) App Got Me To Spend Less Time on my Phone (Feb. 2018)
Weaning Myself Off Social Media (Nov. 2017)
{7} Ways to Spend Less Time On Your Phone (Feb. 2017)
Why I Limit my Social Media Time (Sept. 2015)
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