It was impossible to enter March this year and not think about March 2020. The month our country (and much of the world) changed. It was early March when I specifically remember asking Matt how concerned I should be about this "corona thing". On March 10th I did what turned out to be my last Aldi trip for 2+ months (Matt did all our shopping in that time). I also picked up a Target order of ginger ale, chicken & rice soup, and tissues "in case we were home sick for 2 weeks". Also, toilet paper because we were running low. This was days before it started to become really scarce.
This week last year was filled with some stress about how fast everything was changing. It felt weird but also grateful for the normal of Luke still going to school every day this week. We were anticipating school shutting down at any moment. This week last year was filled with unknowns and too many checks of the news.
Luke went to his last in-person day of 1st grade on March 13th.
That evening we went to a fish fry at my sister's where it was so nice to do something normal but also the adults pretty much only talked about this corona virus (I believe the school my BIL teaches at had yet to close at that time but all the rest of the 5 school our family attends/teaches/drives bus for were closed for 2 weeks).
The next day, March 14th, we had a birthday party for the boys with ~25 people in our house. We kinda talked about canceling it but also corona had barely hit our county, there were maybe a handful of confirmed cases. I never talked about this on the blog or Instagram because I knew people would have strong feelings about that but looking back...it was the safest time in the many following months to do that! There were so few cases! (And, to this date, to the best of my knowledge, nobody who was at our party has still gotten COVID in the past year.) If it was the following weekend we definitely would have canceled it.
That evening we went to in-person Mass for what would be the last time in over 2 months. We had no idea church was days away from closing. That there would be any circumstances where church would close.
On Monday, March 16th, we started e-learning. It was confusing and frustrating and I had 3 doctor appointments that week. We were still being told not to wear masks but some of the health workers were. Before and after those appointments, since I didn't have the boys with me, I was doing semi-frantic grocery shopping, hoping to get some milk and meat. Matt & I made 3-4 stops at our neighborhood meat market that week because they kept selling out immediately. I bought overpriced milk from the gas station and oatmeal that is still in our cupboard in case we couldn't get milk and needed breakfast options besides cereal.
The first two weeks of e-learning, the final two weeks of March last year, were very stressful. Luke had 5 days of e-learning each week as we tried to adapt to what all that entails and also a complete upending of our current schedule. Matt was still going into the hospital 4 days a week which was very stressful (he quickly started showering as soon as he got home and kept all his work stuff in the basement). All the mixed messages they were getting at work from their hospital employer added to the confusion and stress. He had job security but it was also working at a hospital in a pandemic. We had discussions about what we would have to do if he needed to quarantine from us (nearly impossible in a small house with only one bathroom). I cried many days of those two weeks.
Then Luke had a week off e-learning for spring break and after that his e-learning schedule was much less intense (only 3 days a week) which actually gave us some time to enjoy having him home instead of just the stress of getting all his work done. And the weather really turned to mostly spring and things got easier, even if we were still not seeing people off screens.
The past 52 weeks have held a lot of moments that I never expected to experience in my life. It was, at times, weird, confusing, stressful, and hard.
But there was also a lot of joy. Personally, 2020 was a much better year for our family than 2019 was. 2019 was a hard year for many reasons. While there were many times this year where it felt like time was standing still, I still have one kid who has at least triple the vocabulary he did a year ago and another who can read and rattle off his math facts a lot better. I've finished 176 books and run nearly 340 miles. We put in raised beds, Matt made a new kitchen table, and he's working on separating our basement into actual rooms (our basement is currently the messiest it's ever been and that's saying something). I painted this cupboard! I started sewing again! We never did make any sourdough.
We've done countless bike rides and the boys have spent countless hours on bikes or scooters or powerwheels in our alley. Sam has lived a whole 1/3 of his life in these COVID days!
Of course, none of this should come at the expense of all the lives that have been lost and countless hours we've lost in-person with families or loved ones. We've been pretty lucky that so few people in our families have even gotten COVID. It's been a year of finding the right balance between being cautious but safely seeing people so as to keep mental health in tact.
There is something so optimistic about heading into spring this year and warmer weather. To finally have outdoors as a real option. The potential to see people outside and also send the boys (and us) outside to wear out some energy. To know many people (my husband and parents included) who have gotten vaccinated. To think about school being much closer to normal in the fall.
Last March at this time there were a lot of unknowns. This year there still a lot of unknowns but they are more optimistic unknowns. Thinking of how things will be opening back up instead of shutting down. The potential for outdoor dates again! Having people over in the backyard! Getting the string lights up again (this has nothing to do with COVID but I'm still excited about it).
It'll be awhile before life is back to what it was in 2019 and I doubt I'll be able to stop wearing a mask to Aldi and Target for months but I have a lot of hope for what this spring and summer will bring. It feels like a complete 180° from how I felt a year ago. There is a light at the end of the tunnel that we are inching towards when a year ago we were headed to pitch black darkness.
Sam won't remember much of this COVID year. I expect it will be a standout memory from Luke's childhood. Someday it will just seem like a blip in our lives but while we lived it many moments were hard and many moments were wonderful. I'm grateful that we are on this side of it now.
No comments:
Post a Comment