Hobbies: Blogging

Writing has long been an outlet for me.  I kept nearly daily diaries from the age of 12 until I got married 10 years later.  (I still have all those composition notebooks but I haven't been brave enough to go back and read my (mostly) teenage thoughts.  I am mostly interested, I guess, in the ones from when I was dating my now husband.)   There are countless times in my life where I haven't been able to figure out what I think about something until I write it all out.  

When I was young I was convinced I'd be a writer and/or librarian some day.  I wrote stories often, liked creating elaborate backstories for my Oregon Trail characters (I much preferred that to the hunting and actual trail-ing).  I was a library volunteer as soon as I was old enough and I don't know when I decided that wasn't something I wanted to do anymore.  And my writing dreams were probably snuffed out between school papers in high school and college although I took and really enjoyed a creative writing class in high school.  That was probably the last time I wrote a fictional story.  

This writing led to a livejournal in college (are those still on the internet??) and eventually to this blog as well as a private blog that is basically a digital diary but without teenage angst (more or less a narrative of our lives).  The time I have had to give this blog over the years has come and gone as well as the energy I have to devote to it as well.  There was a period where I was publishing something every weekday or nearly.  I do not know how I did that and still parent a 2-3 year old.  Now it's less than that, even though I am childless for ~33 hours a week. 

Some of that is due to less ideas, some of it is due to a saturation of the market.  Do I really have anything worthwhile to say???  (Is all of this worthwhile to say????)  Some of it is just priorities have shifted.  My blogging never really recovered after getting Sam and the giant realization of what life with two kids was like, especially when the baby was a complete surprise.   Even once Luke started kindergarten that fall and Sam was napping three times a day at that point, trying to find time to write around nap and school schedules just never happened like it had with 1 kid and no school schedule.  

However, the days where I go to bed feeling good about how the day went, what I got done (should I be measuring the quality of my days based on how much I've accomplished??), often the days that feel good are days in which I've done some writing.  There are many other factors, obviously, like connecting with both boys, getting uninterrupted time to talk to Matt, nobody fighting, etc, but of at home days where I go to bed feeling rightly productive, it's been a day where I've written.  

Reading is my main hobby and puzzles are one I can do easily when around my family, but blogging is something I do nearly entirely on my own time.  It's been fit in before kids are awake, during nap time, during quiet time, on the previously rare times I was home alone, and after kids are in bed.  I earn very little money from this endeavor (should I figure that out?? Is it worth figuring out???) but I very much appreciate having an avenue to share things that have worked for me and/or my family, share books/puzzles/etc that we like, share recipes, and talk about various parenting challenges.  

However, my favorite thing about keeping a blog for the last decade + is how I have documentation through all these young parenting years.  When Sam was little I would look back and see things I had written when Luke was the same age.  To see the progression of what I've written about, different stages of life we've gone through.  My more heavy food DIYing, sewing, zero waste, parenting struggles, etc.  I've not documented nearly all of my life but enough that I can remember the different life stages I was in at different points.  This is mostly relevant to me but I've been really glad I have it.  More than once I've used my own blog to reference something!  

Blogging doesn't take the time that it used to, right now it's around 2.5 hours a week which is mostly spent writing and a tiny bit editing or taking pictures.  There was a time where it was closer to 6 but that when I was writing something for every weekday.  I don't think about blog posts nearly as much as I used to but I still appreciate getting time to write something.  

All of my hobbies I've written about so far, and this covers most of them, have mostly benefited me.  It doesn't really matter to anyone else if I ever finish a puzzle, for instance.  This one too although it's public in hopes that reading about something I've written has resonated with SOMEONE (and I've gotten enough nice comments over the years to know at least some of it has).   I have benefited getting my thoughts out here the most and that's ok.  It's definitely a hobby but one that engages my mind in a different way than nearly anything else I do.  It's helped me clarify what I'm actually thinking and, mostly, document our lives in a way that I wouldn't have if I hadn't started writing here all those years ago.

Related: Book Love: Big Magic (and why I think you should blog) from January 2016! 

 

Hobbies: Reading

The one hobby that I have had the longest and, by far, spend the most time on, is reading.  The story (via my mom) goes that I taught myself to read when I was 4, read my kindergarten class a Berenstain Bear book (my teacher didn't think I could do it) and haven't slowed down much since.  I was very competitive in our library's summer reading program, reading 100 books in a summer and redeeming more prizes (they were free books! Some of which I still have!) that was probably necessary.  I spent many years of my life thinking I would become an author or a librarian.  Although now I just write blog posts and newsletter articles for our school's auction/dinner and my only time "working" at a library was as a volunteer.  (Although our house alone is a not-insignificant portion of our library branch's circulation activity, maybe as high as 11% one year.)

I read all through high school, although at not nearly the pace I do now, and college slowed me down a fair amount but since 2010, the first adult year I tracked my reading, I finished 51 books and it's only gone up from there.  (Not yet this year, I'm only at 50 but I am confident I'll keep reading.)  My TBR sits around 70 books I want to read (as well as another dozen-ish picture books that are on there so I remember to purchase request them from our library).  It's a hobby that takes up a chunk of time to do but also to maintain.  It's also what calms my introvert brain and brings me much joy.  As well as knowledge and inspiration.  When in doubt, I look for a book on the subject.

Talking about my reading routine isn't new, I've covered it many times in many ways over the years.  I currently aim to read 10 hour a week which I usually hit unless I'm sick.  From 2018-2023 (the years I have full year data of my time tracking), I averages 530 hours of reading to myself each of those years, for nearly an average 90 minutes a day. Which begs the question, where do I get 90 minutes a day?!? (2023 was a year that brought down that average a bit.)  

Surprising to me, I am not really reading more now that I am home alone during the school days although maybe I get more silent reading in now that before.  On the days I come right home from drop-off, I aim to read for a solid hour after cleaning up the kitchen, maybe switching laundry, and making my tea.  On days I go somewhere else before coming home, I try to read for an hour when I do get home but that doesn't always happen, depending on what time I actually get home and what needs done.  That big morning reading chunk is a big change from my SAHM life.  I rely less on getting in ~3 hours on a Sunday and now do more reading during the week.  I am ALWAYS trying to read 30 minutes before bed (see: mind calming) but that seems to happen rarely.  I am TERRIBLE at actually going to bed, even when I'm all ready for bed.  But sometimes I read a second time during the school day, sometimes in the mornings before working out (I get up extra early to see my husband off to work a few days a week), and always do read at least 10 minutes before bed.  

Picking what to read has gotten easier over the year as I've honed more and more what I actually like.  I think some trial and error reading I did when I was getting back into reading post college really helped me narrow down what I like although I still struggle to really define what exactly that is.  Definitely romance but usually slightly more on the chaste end (Emily Henry or Christina Lauren is about the spiciest I'll read), some historical fiction especially from authors that I have enjoyed in the past, some YA and middle-grade, and then a whole lot of books that I don't know how to categorize because "women's fiction" is a terrible label.  Books by authors like Elin Hilderbrand, Taylor Jenkins Reid, and Liane Moriarty.  I  I do some non-fiction like parenting, adoption, home decor & organization, travel, time management, minimalism, and some memoir.  do not do many mysteries and certainly not anything very grusome but a few get so buzzy that I pick them up (like The Maid or Finlay Donovan).  I don't do much "literary fiction", few short stories, very little poetry (and there, just a handful of books told in verse). 

Audiobooks have gotten a lot more popular lately but I do 99% of my reading on physical books, largely checked out from the library.  Buying books I haven't read yet is a space & financial issue.  I read over 170 books a year; I cannot buy and store all of those.  I will pick-up the occasional digital book from the library if it's something I am very interested and that's the only format they have it in but then I'm stuck reading it on my phone and reading is what I do to put down my phone!  I've done a handful of audio over the year but a literal handful in 10 years.  I got into podcasts before audiobooks and that's where my listening time goes.  

Even with a healthy TBR that I never seem to get below 50, it still takes some time to always have my next book.  I am rather purposeful in planning my reading, picking 10 books to read each month.  I make sure I have a mix of contemporary fiction, historical fiction, and non-fiction.  In the summer and December I read very little non-fiction but the rest of the year I try to read 3ish a month.  I wrote about this planning process back in 2018 and not much has changed although I am usually picking out my books later than I used to.  It's somewhere around the 15th-20th of the month before that I start looking at what's coming out the following month as well as what has been lingering on my TBR the longest.  I make sure there is a good mix, thinking if there are any books that I always reread at this time of year, what our book club has coming up, etc.  I try to read around 14 books a month but that includes ones I read aloud to my boys (which aren't in my planned books) and I often can sneak in at least 1 other unplanned book as well (often a short one). 

There are some books (Elin Hilderbrand, Emily Henry) that I know will have LONG library hold lines and I have been pretty good at just remembering to put those on hold in February or March for their May/June releases.  In the spring I am checking library holds often for upcoming summer releases I know I'll want to read (almost entirely from authors I have read and enjoyed the previous summer) and start my holds for those books early but rarely (besides those two authors) more than 2 months in advance.  My 10 holds are almost entirely filled right now with unreleased books so luckily I picked a few books for May that I can get off the shelf at my library branch until some May release holds start moving.  

Not only do I semi-obsessively plan my reading but I also track it in a variety of ways.  I've used Goodreads since 2011 to track everything I'm reading and keep it very up to date with what I am reading and what I've finished.  I keep my monthly lists in my bullet journal as well as adding unplanned finished books to that page.   I also keep my monthly lists in the library app as well as writing them down in my bullet journal.  This helps me remember what I'm reading next when I'm not at home (sometimes I AM at work and want to know what else I plan to read this month!).  I'm on my second 5 year journal to write down everything I've read and watched in a day as well as miles run, vacations, any life events (even just "1st 2 hour delay of school year" or "1st soccer game", etc.).  I have a recurring tasks for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to update my bullet journal and 5 year journal.  I also do monthly reading recaps here on the blog and on Fridays I review everything I've finished in Goodreads.     

By the time I read 10 hours a week, as well as plan my reading, track my reading, manage my own library holds (I'll do a whole other posts about managing my kids' reading lives), and blog about what I've read...this reading hobby takes up more time than I even realized.  I didn't start with this much planning and tracking although I would highly recommend tracking your reading in some form (Goodreads is a good place to start, I have 3/5 of my sisters on there!) just to see how many and what you read.   

Reading is largely self-care for me.  It helps calm my busy brain like very few other things can.  I feel more centered when I can sit and focus on reading for a good chunk of time.  It expands my world view to people who are living lives differently than mine, either at different periods of time, in different locations, or just making different life choices.  Non-fiction has taught me countless things about myself, how to parent better, how to spend my time and is constantly inspiring me.  Of course I've had many influential people in my life (my parents, my husband, etc.) but reading has also helped turn me into the person I am.  It's something I largely do for myself and has been a constant nearly my whole life.  It's not a stretch to say I'd be a different person if I didn't read. 

Hobbies: Puzzles

{8} First of the Month Routines

I LOVE a good seasonal shift.  I love living by the seasons, both as sections of the calendar year AND in terms of living through whatever weird/different thing life is throwing at us right now.  I LOVE the New Years energy I have on January 1st that continues through a good part of January.  And I feel that energy shift, in a smaller amount, at the start of each month.

I have slowly added many different small changes into the first of each month.  I want to feel the passage of time, to notice and acknowledge that we are in a different part of the year now.  Sometimes this even shows up as changing decor for a new season or holiday.  Some months it's just changing my iphone background.  But a new month is a new start and each year gives us TWELVE of them.  I also break many of my annual goals into smaller monthly goals, such as books to read or number of miles to run.  Here's how I make them feel at least a little bit different:

1) Make a Monthly List
I have been doing this for over 6 years, since 2018 in my bullet journal.  I've written about this before and the process hasn't changed much.  I go through my 23 in 2023 (or whatever year it is) list and pull out some action steps on the open items.  I put down our monthly dining local.  There's the number of miles I plan to run that month, the movies per my movie schedule, to-dos around the start or end of the school year, trips, holidays to celebrate, and photo projects I want to work on.  I check the list for the same month the previous year and the past few months to see what's outstanding.  Then Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have a recurring task to check in on these, so I stay on top of what I hope to work on.

2) Plan my reading
Every month I pick 10 books I plan to read.  I actually start this sometime in the previous month, so I can try to have all my picks in hand by the 1st.  I base this off what is next on my TBR, what is being released in a month (although that doesn't mean that's when the library will put it in circulation...), what is seasonal, and what my book club is reading.  I keep this on a list in my library app on my phone as well as in my bullet journal.  It helps me be a big more intentional about my reading as well as make most of the decisions about what I'll be reading at once! (Although I also always try to read more than 10 books a month.)  I wrote a post about this and the process hasn't changed much!

3) Change iPhone and desktop computer backgrounds
Sometimes it's a change to something seasonal.  Sometimes I match them between my phone and computer.  But it's nice to just have something new to mark a new month.  And by new, I probably mean something that I used the previous year.  I'm not searching for new ones of these every ~30 days.

4) Change the Saints
Been a big fan of Shining Light for a few years now and every month we have sitting out the Saints who have a feast day in that month.  I track this on a spreadsheet, naturally.  Divine Mercy Jesus and Mary get to stay out every month.  I switch both the classic dolls and the magnets on the tv stand.  We do a litany of saints (an idea I flat out stole from my sister) at the end of our family prayers every night where we go in a circle and each say 2 saints.  And you know what...we pull heavily from the ones we can see...

5) Get cards ready
I've been following the same January buying procedure for my cards for many, many years.  Here's the post on that.  Then on the 1st of each month I pull out the cards I need to mail that month, adding a stamp, and writing it as a to-do list in my planner for the day before we need to mail it (so I have time to get Matt & the boys all to sign it).  Since I have these in date order in a basket in my office (with the date noted where the stamp will go), this is easy to do.  I don't actually write in the cards until I get them out to mail them.

6) Change mugs (sometimes)
This isn't on the first of each month but I DO have a mug schedule for which of my 5 mugs I use at which times of the year.  This has been very handy in keeping me from buying anymore mugs because I don't want to mess up my schedule!  Yes, 5 is probably 4 more than I need but it is nice to use different ones at different times.  These switches don't always happen on the 1st of the month (I have a flamingo one I use all through the boys' summer break from school) but most of them do.  (That's my October Office Ladies podcast mug for pictured above and my March/April spring peach mug up top with my bullet journal.)

7) Mark a new season or holiday (sometimes)
Again, this isn't every month, in fact, only 3.  March 1st is the start of spring for me.  I do my big spring switch that day.  October 1st is the first day it is acceptable to decorate for Halloween and anyone who does it earlier is wrong.  And November 1st is the kick-off of the HOLIDAY season although that is more a mental adjustment rather than decorating because I don't decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving (I start Black Friday and continue through the weekend.  Anyone who decorates before Thanksgiving is doing it wrong and I will not change my mind on this.).  

8) Back up my computer
This has nothing to do with the seasons but I do this on the first of every month (or very close to it, depending on holidays and/or travel).  My cloud backup is constant but this is my external hard drive back-up.  And I have so many pictures that it takes most of the day...

These are all fairly small things but together they help mark a new month or a new season, helping to acknowledge the constant passage of time!

If you do anything like this, I'd love to hear about it!

Getting Off My Phone

Spending less time on my phone has been a near constant struggle since I got my first iPhone nearly 10 years ago.  There is just something so tempting about the entire's world knowledge at my near fingertips, even if I am mostly tempted by social media and nearly anything that lets me stall doing what I really should be doing.

This is not a new problem for me and one I have conquered better at some points in my life than others.  I've written about it many (many) times in the past before too:

Limiting the Social Media (Sept. 2015)
{7} Ways to Spend Less Time on Your Phone (Feb. 2017)
How an(other) app got me to spend less time on my phone (Feb. 2018)
Cutting my Social Media Time (Feb. 2019)
Why I Take Social Media Breaks (Feb. 2020)

(I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS WITH ME AND FEBRUARY AND THESE POSTS.)

I feel like I am doing well at staying off my phone.  Then something happens (say...a global pandemic that feels like it will never end) and all bets and rules and progress I've made it out the window. (At this point, I don't think I can use COVID as an excuse, it's been around for awhile and we've adjusted to whatever the heck life is like when this posts.)

The Moment app was really good for me for a few years.   I spent a few years screen shoting my time breakdown from the day before and then having the app take off time spent on certain apps (Home & Lock screen, Kindle or other reading apps, the library app because that can be a big chunk of time on library days.)  Then they changed their format sometime since the pandemic started and instead started giving you points for staying off your phone for at least 30 minutes.  It added up your time at the end of the day and it was really rewarding to see many many hours where I was away from my phone for at least 30 minutes.  The app change was an adjustment but once I got used to it it was good for me.

Then there was an update to the app where it was SUCKING my battery, like my phone that was barely a year old would be dead by noon.  It was killing it and super annoying to always be charging.  So I sadly had to get rid of the app before it made my battery worthless.  

That caused me to pivot to the Forest App. 

The Forest App works a lot like the Moment app did after the update.  You get credit for being off your phone a certain amount of time.  You set a timer in the app for at least 10 minutes and then I have mine to keep counting even after the set time is up.  If you exit the app before the timer is up then you kill a tree in your fake forest.

I know, killing a digital tree shouldn't be motivation.  EXCEPT THAT IT IS.

In the Moment App even turning on the lock screen to skip ads in a playing podcast would trigger the app and I'd lose progress on my downtime counter.  I got used to covering the front facing camera with one hand while I skipped the ads with the other since if the phone didn't unlock it didn't mess with the app.  (I still find myself doing this sometimes.)

The Forest App doesn't have this problem and sometimes I can get away with using the camera, timer/alarm, or calculator without my tree dying.  When I do kill a tree it's usually for using the camera.

There are many times a day I nearly always start growing a tree.  While I do my morning workout.  When doing to Mass (that is a bit of a cheat because other than the two times Luke did a reading/petitions at school Mass, I don't pull my phone out during Mass anyways).  When I come out of the bathroom on school mornings post-shower generally until after Luke is dropped off (unless I need to check the weather (which has been MANY mornings this school year with many surprise rain storms coming right when I want to be walking to school.)).  When reading.  After school while trying to get through the snack and homework slog.  At work (easier there since I have a Mac and get all my texts on my computer screen anyways).

There are many situations for which I have standard times and plants already set and I just pick from my favorites.  Most of mine start at 20 minutes and then will keep counting after I've gone over that, up to two hours total (I frequently hit that 2 hour max on our vacations, when I'd leave my phone to go to the beach).  I find 20 minutes is a good starting time because I can generally ignore any text message for 20 minutes without it being a big deal.  Only occasionally (generally from Matt at work) does someone require a quicker answer.  It's very helpful that I can unlock my phone and see how much time is left before I kill a tree for quitting.  I know I can do something else for 90 seconds or whatever and then have my phone unlocked, no dead digital trees on my conscience.

And this isn't to say that I still don't spend time on my phone.  I most certainly do and still more than I'd like.  But having dead digital trees hanging over me helps me focus when I really would like to focus.  That bit of time I get with the boys in the morning before school.  The craziness of after school when I'd really like to escape from dealing with messes and homework and whiny kids who maybe should have taken a nap when one was offered.  Sometimes I just need something to remind me to NOT PICK UP THE PHONE.

It's amazing the number of times I am sorely tempted to pick-up my phone to get that quick dopamine hit or just as a break from dealing with whatever I should be dealing with and then see my phone is locked, put it back down, and get on with what I should be doing.  Focusing can be HARD and this really has helped me take bigger chunks away from my phone while also keeping it close in case of an emergency (i.e. a quarantine phone call from school).  

The app cost maybe $3 and I don't use the sounds or anything else that came with it, just my digital trees and the others I have bought with the coins earned from leaving my phone alone.  And I use the screen time function that came with my iPhone even though I'm 90% sure it's double counting some time (it will double up some Safari time, count it as both Safari time and as particular websites).  And I use that to enact some limits on Instagram and the nighttime settings that disable certain apps between certain hours.

This all sounds rather silly but I've found that I do well with external motivation and accountability. This works and I will take a rather silly but helpful win. 

Have YOU tried the Forest App?  Do you have other ingenious solutions to help you stay off your phone?  Because I clearly don't have it figured out and am always looking for solutions!

Why I Take Social Media Breaks

For almost 2½ years now I have not checked social media over the weekend (98% of the weekends, there are a few exceptions).  It's all been part of my slow process of weaning off social media.  Not completely!  I have no intent of giving it up completely (but if you do, good for you!) but I don't want my time on there to dominate my life.  That might be a slight exaggeration; who has time for social media to dominate their lives?

Managing time on my devices has long been something I've been interested in and have written about many times in the past.  Good time management in general is an interest of mine and managing how much time I spend on my phone is all a part of it.  It really goes back to getting enough sleep and being in a good enough head space to make good decisions.  It's days I haven't slept well and I'm frustrated about something that has nothing to do with my phone, that I end up wasting time on devices to avoid dealing with the real problems.  (Like our pointless snow day a couple weeks ago where I still had a kid awake at 6:30am and didn't get to shower until 10am.)

So a long time ago I decided that part of managing my time well and managing my social media time well would be to not check any social media on the weekends.  At first this was really hard.  I haven't had the Facebook app on my phone in years, same for Twitter but I spent a good 6 months deleting the Instagram app from my phone every Friday to reinstall it on Monday.  I got very familiar with my password then!  But it worked, it was enough to break the habit and keep me from any sudden checks.

Now I am mostly able to keep off social media without deleting apps.  I find it SO freeing to not feel like I have to work time into our weekends to check Instagram and see what people are up to.  That frees up about 20 minutes in my day but the real freedom comes from not even thinking about checking it.  It's mostly subconscious but I don't have to see when I'll get child-free time in order to spend time staring at my phone.  I just don't, on the weekends.

I generally post to Instagram 3-4 times a week and just knowing I'm not going to be over the weekends really helps.  Taking two days off every week keeps me from getting too sucked into the app and feeling like I constantly need to share what we are doing.  I never get in too set of a habit around my time there because I never have a streak of days checking it!  It is the best mental break.  I also don't check Facebook or Twitter on my computer but since I try not to turn on my computer either over the weekends (besides working on specific projects during Sam's naps, like finishing up photobooks or planning a vacation), those aren't too hard to avoid.  

This is also made easier when we are at the lake in the summers, where we usually have bad reception.  For a long time we were sharing 3 gigs of data between myself, Matt, my sister, and her husband.  We were almost always short on data and so that meant very little phone time at the lake since we don't have wi-fi there (I wish we could get Netflix but otherwise I am perfectly fine with no wi-fi at the lake!).  It just felt like taking something off my plate to mostly be off my phone while at the lake.  Even if I wasn't going to spend that much time anyways, knowing I couldn't without risking overage fees really made the decision easier to put the phone down.  And then once I started this no weekend thing, being in the habit of being off my phone on lake weekends really helped.

Besides my two days off every week, I also generally stay off social media when we are on family vacations - both our lake vacation and our regular vacation.  Those are important family times and I love getting a lot of reading done or watching some House Hunters (which we mostly only watch on vacations and sometimes it's the only thing we watch besides movies brought from home) with Matt.  It's really freeing to not feel tied down to my phone, even though I know I'm the one doing the tying down the rest of the time.  Just knowing I'm not giving myself the option of checking social media helps me stay more relaxed and more involved with the important people right in front of me.

We don't go completely screen free on the weekends.  We often do family movie nights on Fridays, except that lately Luke has been requesting some classic Lego Star Wars video game playing with Matt and I instead of a movie (Matt and I played that game SO MUCH the first fall we were married.)  Matt and I aim to watch a movie together on Saturday nights and catch up on a tv show (lately it's Brooklyn Nine-Nine) on Sunday nights.  I have my computer on for the aforementioned projects on Saturday naptimes and Luke cashes in the screen time he's earned for solo video games during Sam's naps on both days.  Plus, I don't think I ever go a whole day without texting anyone, except maybe on vacation, so we're definitely not locking our phones away on the weekends. 

It's has given me back time, it's given me back mental space (my most valued space!), it keeps me more focused on the people right in front of me.  Taking a weekly break has proven to be a good balance for me between being on social media and not being consumed by it.  I'm very glad I worked the break into my weekly habit!

Why Do You Use Social Media?

Social media.  It's been around for awhile (I've been on Facebook for 15 years now!) and it seems unlikely that it is going away anytime soon.  It takes up time, it probably changed the way people date (my relationship with my husband pre-dates social media, which means we are old), and it might even be changing people's brains.  It is crazy. (I don't have any reports to back that up but I feel like I've read that before, and it also just seems likely.)

Screens are so pervasive in our every day lives, as much as I am constantly trying to limit them in our household, this is not the first time I've written on the topic.  Even going to the zoo I am trying to keep Luke away from the tablets at various exhibits.  And it's not just communal screen like watching tv, but also personal devices.  I am usually shocked and a little horrified at how much time I can spend on my phone in a day.  That's not talking on the phone (Sam just assumes if I am on the phone that I am talking to my Mom, because her and Matt are about 95% of my actual phone conversations), but my eyeballs on the screen of my phone.  I've had a smartphone for 8 years and it has fully integrated itself into my life.

Keeping our screen time to a reasonable amount and considering what restrictions and rules we'll put around it for our boys is something that is often on my mind.  I don't want them to see me with my face constantly glued to my phone.  And I don't want my face glued to my phone!  Part of expecting them to have good boundaries when it comes to screen is by demonstrating good boundaries myself!  This is constantly a work in process.

One of the biggest time sucks for me on my phone is social media.  I'm guessing that is true for many people.  I also know that I just shouldn't go on social media when I am tired because it is never easier to just keep scrolling than when I am exhausted and should be in bed.  Just this week I finally set a rule for myself that I can't check social media, of any kind, after 8pm.  After then I am just too tired and am bound to waste too much time.

I don't think that social media is inherently evil; it's all in how it is used.  Laura Tremaine of the 10 Things to Tell You Podcast recently had an episode discussing if you should post pictures of your kids online.  It was a fascinating listen and a conversation I really appreciated listening in on.  It was a small part of that episode that really stuck with me: What is your motivation for posting on social media?

That really got me thinking. Why do I post on social media?  What I am looking to get out of it?  What do I like about social media that keeps me coming back?  Other than the dopamine hits from receiving likes and comments?

There isn't one good answer to the Why, every person may have a different reason, or a wide range of reasons.  There are influencers who do it for money and fame.  There are far flung family members who do it to keep in touch.  And there are a whole bunch of reasons in between.  There is science to back up that getting the likes and follows and comments does things in your brain that makes them addicting (I wish I could remember where all I've read about that).  That makes it easy for us all to keep posting.  But why else do I post and how do I decide what to share?

The main social medias that I personally use are Facebook and Instagram.  I have more in real life friends on Facebook so I use that to mostly see what they are all doing.  I mainly post there myself on milestone events - the boys' birthdays and adoption days, first and last day of school, Halloween (which is my personal favorite time to be on social media ever - I LOVE seeing all the dressed up kids over a ~48 hour period), a family on the jet ski picture once a summer, family pictures at Easter and Christmas, and maybe a handful of other times a year.  I have friends and family members on there that I don't see in person regularly and it's nice to see what they are up to without having to individually text or see everyone.  I probably only check Facebook 2-3 times a week and only on my computer.

I keep two Instagram accounts - one public and one private.  I think I have murkier reasons there for posting.  On my public account I occasionally post about new blog posts, the reason being to drive traffic here (and maybe earn me a little money).  I also have been posting about a picture book most Thursdays for awhile, because I have read A LOT of picture books and since I like getting recommendations of ones to read, I figure others do too. I also do a "happy list" on most Fridays - just a handful of things that are currently making me happy.  Some weeks this is HARD but I know a gratitude practice is beneficial and it really does help me think back over the past 7 days and what has been really good, even in the midst of tough weeks.


It's all the other posts that I honestly can't articulate why I post.  I know I do like scrolling back through my feed and seeing the change of the seasons and what life looks like at different points.  I like the community of sharing seasonal changes and knowing others are participating in the same seasons at the same times.  Sometimes I think I have something funny to say or something emotional (weird if I've made myself tear up reading old social media posts of my own?  These are almost all adoption related.)  Some of it is very well for those dopamine hits but I don't want that to be my only reason.  I like sharing books I've really enjoyed and I like seeing what others are reading (I ALWAYS want to know what everyone is reading).  Occasionally some of it is probably to show off my super exciting and glamorous life.  That is said with heavy sarcasm but the underlying statement is true - who isn't posting on social media without ever wanting to show off?  Very very few people I would guess.

There isn't one right reason for posting but I think it is very important to think about what the possible reasons before posting.  As screen become ever more present in our lives, it's important to not just consider your time spent but also your motivations in the first place.  I don't have good answers here but it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I think is worth a broader conversation and conscientious.  We'll all trying to figure out the pervasive screens together!

Related posts:
Cutting My Social Media Time (Feb. 2019)
How an(other) App Got Me To Spend Less Time on my Phone (Feb. 2018)
Weaning Myself Off Social Media (Nov. 2017)
{7} Ways to Spend Less Time On Your Phone (Feb. 2017)
Why I Limit my Social Media Time (Sept. 2015)

The Who and When of Listening to Podcasts

I started listening to podcasts about three years ago and I was shocked when I realized it was that long!  I feel like I just started but then it has also been long enough for a lot of trial and error on which ones I like and when I listen to them.

Finding podcasts I really enjoy, and even look forward to listening to, has really changed my attitude about a lot of things.  Some of those not so fun chores bother me less when I have something interesting to listen to.  Driving is less boring.  Spending a chunk of time making supper can be enjoyable.  A few years ago I didn't know how I'd listen to an hour long episode over a week and now I've had plenty of days where I've listened to 2+ hours just in doing my daily activities - folding laundry, running errands, and putting away groceries!

I spend a lot of time at home (by choice!), big chunks of the day when my only companion is a baby who is just starting to talk, and only a couple words at that (why does "ball" come before saying "Mom"???).  I spend time with him, keep the house relatively clean, and run errands.  Listening to podcasts while I do most of those things (not playing with Sam) helps me feel like I am being productive but also getting in "me" time.  The variety of podcasts I've listened to over the past couple years have given me new perspectives and showed me new ways to do things.  Given me more books to read (never enough time!) and made me laugh.  Like reading, listening to podcasts have expanded my world a bit but I can get laundry done while doing it!

It's not worth finding shows that I am interested in if I don't have time to listen to them!  So here's when I listen:

When I Listen

-working out in the mornings
-getting ready in the bathroom, post shower (depending on how we are doing on time for getting to school)
-when driving
-sorting and tagging pictures
-working on photobooks
-doing bills each week
-folding laundry (if I am alone)
-making food, as long as the mixer isn't running or it's too loud
-doing housework (dusting, cleaning floors, cleaning the bathroom, etc.)

Most of these are fairly mundane tasks that I would usually find myself dreading or at least not looking forward to!  They are much more bearable when I have something I want to listen to while doing them!


When I Don't Listen
-in the shower
-running
-in the car with Matt and/or Luke (besides when we drove overnight to Florida two years ago, I did listen when they were both sleeping and I needed to stay awake!)
-vacuuming
-during family time, when playing with the boys
-writing blog posts
 
I don't know the last time I used earbuds (maybe on the train to New York last year?) and I never, ever wear them around the house.  I only listen through my car or phone speakers so most of my listening comes while Luke is at school and Matt at work.  I keep telling myself I'll have to quit as Sam gets bigger...but I haven't yet. 

Podcasts I Listen to Each Week
These are almost all weekly shows that occasionally take weeks off for holidays but usually put out around 50 episodes each a year.




Young House Love has a Podcast
This is the show that really converted me.  I enjoy almost everything John & Sherry do so when I saw they were starting a podcast I knew I had to figure out how to listen to them.  I've been following their blog for 6+ years, own both books AND their coloring book.  In the beginning they had more interviews with design people but now it's mostly them recapping their remodeling efforts of 2 beach houses and their own house but I still find it so enjoyable.
My favorites: #45: "Why We Got Rid of Half the Toys in Our House" and #128: "Finding More Life in Less Stuff" (and I get a shout out at the end of episode #89)

The Lazy Genius
To teach you "how to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't" which, hello, isn't that pretty much what we all want?  This is the only show I regularly listen to that is just one person mostly talking, no interviews or co-hosts, a format I generally don't like but I really appreciate almost everything Kendra has to say.  Lots of tips on food (menu planning, how to marinade meat) but also on cleaning your house and simplifying holidays.  I'm currently in a the middle of a relisten of her 3 part series from last May on Summer Strategy (eps #62, 63, 64) and I'm fairly certain I'll listen to it AGAIN before the end of the month.   
My favorites: #18: "The Lazy Genius Raises a New Baby", #84: "Guide to Lunch", and #88: "Refocus Your Christmas Brain".

What Should I Read Next? with Anne Bogel
Anne is my book guru, I've been following her blog for years.  I link up with her blog every month on my Quick Lit posts and am really looking forward to her summer reading guide coming out next week.  She has guests on her show who tell her 3 books they love, 1 book they hate, and what they've been reading lately and then she recommends 3 books for them to read next.  Her tastes tend to be more literary than my own but I've still been introduced to many great books because of her podcast and blog.   
My favorites: #132: "The Books We Can't Wait to Read This Summer" and #31: "Lifetime Favorite Books and Reading for a Living".

 The Popcast with Knox & Jamie
This one took me a couple episodes to get into but now I pay to listen to them recap The Bachelor, a show I don't even watch.  What is that???   It's slightly pop culture based but mainly just funny.  Some of their best episodes are when listener submit funny stories related to a topic.  I relisten to their Nos of Christmas (eps #170, 225, and 277) every year.  Listening to them makes me laugh more than just about anything else all week, except maybe my kids (depending on how funny they are that week).   
My (recent) favorites: #242: "The Nos of Spring" and #245: "The Nos of Motherhood".

 
From the Front Porch
This one is a podcast of a bookstore in Thomasville, Georgia.  A place I have never been but is now on my list of places I'd like to visit.  It's a lot of book talk (which I am all in for) but also small business and life in the south.  My reading tastes overlap a decent amount with Annie, the bookstore owner, and I've gotten many good recs from her show.  But it's also just nice hearing them talk about book and reading life and what it's like to own a bookstore.  
My favorites: #213: "Seasonal Reads: Spring Break" and #203: "Best Books of 2018".

Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin is a well-known author (The Happiness Project) on the topics of happiness and habits.  She does this podcast with her sister, Elizabeth, who is a tv writer and producer.  Their show follows the same format almost every week and I usually pick up a helpful hint or two for knowing myself better or a habit to adopt.  This show has the most ads of any I listen to and since I generally skip through those (thank you, 15 second skip button), I get through these fairly quickly.   
My favorites: #140: "It's More Important to Say Something Than the Right Thing" and #218: "Invest in Your Identities".




10 Things To Tell You
This is a newer show but I've really enjoyed most of the episodes.  Laura gives a prompt which you are supposed to share with your best friend or journal about...neither of which I've ever done but sometimes I think about them...so that's something! (I was listening to an episode of this while I worked on pulling pictures and links for this post!)
My favorites: #3 "Where Do You Live?" and #12 "Who Did You Expect to Be?"




The Next Right Thing
This one is all about decision making, how we can easily overwhelm ourselves with the countless ones we have to make in a day and how, usually, the best practice is to just do the next right thing, take the next step.  These are usually short episodes and Emily has the most soothing voice.  I've just started listening to this one but I think it's good for me because I'm REALLY good at over thinking things.   
My favorite: #80: "Don't Take Offense".






Sorta Awesome with Meg Tietz
This is a girlfriend type show, like just sitting around talking with some friends.  They cover all sorts of woman issues and sometimes it's just refreshing to hear about how other people do things, especially Moms further along in parenting than I am.   
My favorite: #134: "10 Secrets of Friendships Revealed".

One Great Book
A second podcast from Anne Bogel but this one is short, usually around 10 minutes.  Each week she highlights one book from her own bookshelves to talk about.  Some of them I've heard of, others I haven't.  I've only previously read one book she's talked about but I still enjoy hearing her talk about WHY she likes these books.  And at 10 minutes they are quick and enjoyable.
My favorite: #4: "Rules of Civility".




The Bible Binge 
From the team behind The Popcast - they summarize Bible stories in a similar way to how they summarize tv shows. I feel like I've actually learned a decent amount, largely about culture and the history around the stories.   
My favorite: the whole season 4 about Advent and the Nativity and #2: Noah.





WHEW.  That was a lot.  Additionally, there are more I keep in my podcast app to check the topic or interviewee of the week, and will download and listen when it interests me:


Coffee + Crumbs  (I like their "This is How We Do" series)
Simple
That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs
The Happy House with Jamie Ivey
For the Love with Jen Hatmaker
Read-Aloud Revival
Off Camera with Sam Jones


I've even gotten to the point of supporting a couple of these through Patreon, so I am paying to listen to them, that's how much I enjoy them.  This comes out of my allowance each month, which I am pretty stingy about, that's how serious I am!

The Popcast - Friend of the Show ($3/month)
What Should I Read Next? - paperback ($3/month)
From the Front Porch - ($1/month)

And all of those come with a couple extra bonus episodes a month, almost all of which I listen to as well.  I'm paying for it, I'm going to listen to them!

We also support Luke's favorite, Finn Caspian, at $2/month.  Which just gets us ad free episodes...when I have yet to put on the old phone Luke uses to listen to his "stories" in the tub.  I should really get on
that.

This is a lot more words than I expected to write about podcasts!  I feel I've learned a lot in all my listening and helped make a lot of mundane tasks less...mundane.  Refreshing my podcast app in the morning is one of the VERY FEW phone things I do before the school drop-off run.  It's a nice little motivator for getting out of bed and getting to working out, so I can see what I have to listen to that day.  I'm glad I started listening.

Do you listen to podcasts?  Favorites?  When do you listen?
 

What Happened When My Husband (Mostly) Gave up Screens for 90 Days

Over three months ago my husband went to a meeting at church.  I put the boys to bed while he was gone and then was scrolling Instagram.  I sent him a screen shot of a letterboard that said something along the lines of "All parents want is for their kids to go to sleep so they can watch tv shows with bad words and eat the hidden snacks."  (This is pretty accurate.)

Then Matt came home from the meeting and told me he wanted to do a 90 day program where he basically had to give up all screens, fast between meals, workout for an hour a day, and take cold showers (among other things).  My first reaction: "Did you not just see my text???"

We had long been in routine of watching an episode of a show together in the evening, most nights, after the kids were in bed.  Often chasing Luke back to bed at least once.  And after a few months of not really knowing what to watch a bunch of shows were just coming back with new episodes or we found new ones to watch and it felt like we had a plethora of choices!  And now he wanted to give up screens for 90 days?  This was mid-January and Easter (when it ended) felt like FOREVER away. 

I was not the most supportive spouse. 

To be clear, he could still use screens for his job (duh) and could still text (I told him there was NO WAY he could give up texting his wife for 90 days, especially since half our texts are logistical/scheduling stuff), check the weather, use the library app to check out books, etc. Fairly necessary stuff. 

It was really hard to think about not having that tv time together most evenings.  We also were doing weekly movie nights with Luke (most weeks) and Sunday Wii evenings before bed.  Now all that would be gone until Easter (which, again, felt forever away). 

I was mostly concerned with how this would affect me, which is also what this post is about.  There were a lot of other requirements of this program and most, relating to diet, exercise, and private prayer, didn't affect me much so they aren't my story to tell.  I have PLENTY of thoughts on the whole program but I'm not trying to convince anyone to do it or not so this isn't the place for my critical review, which, again, only affected me in parts.

We had less than a week until his 90 days started so we prioritized which shows we were going to wrap up so we didn't leave off in any weird spots.  Then he started his 90 days.

(The cold showers started on our coldest week of the winter - when morning wind chills were around -40°.  So, super fun.)

It was a tough transition, which sounded weird, even then.  Watching tv together wasn't even that big a part of our day - maybe 25 minutes, but it felt like it changed a lot. 

There were weeks where we just procrastinated getting the boys to bed because we weren't in a rush to get in show (especially during the ~10 sick and snow days off school Luke had during this time). 

Then there were plenty of nights we were both in bed before 8:30 because we couldn't watch tv so might as well go to bed!

Matt finished two books within the first month of the program.  I thought I would get more time to read but somehow don't feel like I made huge progress on my reading lists.  Maybe it just gave me more time to putter around during the day since I knew I'd get more reading time in the evenings?

In the beginning we were playing more board and card games, just the two of us but then that kinda petered off after awhile.  It certainly took more energy to get out a board game instead of just vegging in front of the tv.

We probably made more social plans than we usually do in the winter (when we typically hibernate and are fine with that!) because we couldn't watch movies at home after the boys were in bed so we weren't missing out on anything by not being home! 

I was still watching some tv, mostly on in the background when I was working from home during Sam's naps (when I've done all my Grey's Anatomy catching up, except that I am 4 episodes behind, again.)  I watched a couple movies on a few evenings I was home with just a sleeping Sam but my overall tv watching was certainly reduced.  And I was still on social media and reading blogs, which Matt never was anyways so that didn't affect him.

Matt was allowed one indulgence on Sundays which he was encouraged to NOT be screen time...but that's what it usually was.  During Sam's Sunday afternoon nap Matt and Luke would usually play a Lego video games on the Wii and then Matt and I would catch up on Brooklyn Nine-Nine after the boys were in bed.  It's the only show we stayed current on in the 90 days!  He also watched the Superbowl (which was on a Sunday so it counted for that day's indulgence).  I told him it was a good thing this wasn't a Winter Olympics year, we typically watch A LOT of Olympic coverage.

A couple weeks before Easter we really started to talk about how the program changed us and what we want to keep up.  Because as much as I was grouchy about it back in January, I could see some real improvements and changes in our family life.

We had more patience with the boys at bedtime since they weren't interrupting our screen time. 

We were playing a lot more card games with Luke, multiple times a day over spring break, sick days, and weekends.  Some of it is age but he's also a lot better at playing (and sometimes beating us) than he was in January!

We were in a much better bedtime routine, most nights having lights off by 10 (my pre-kids self would be shocked by this). 

Matt was in a steady morning workout routine, when he didn't have to be to work at 5:30am, which made my morning workouts more consistent, since we were both getting up at the same time to do them.

Our pre-school mornings with the boys got better since we both wanted to fit in workouts and showers, only having one shower, so often the boys were both up eating breakfast before 7 which made getting out the door on time for school so much easier.  (That seems counter-intuitive, since we had more to squeeze in between 6-7:30 but having a pretty rigid schedule made it easier.)

Overall we communicated more and had more patience and spent more time together as a family, not in front of the tv.  And I wouldn't have even said we were watching much tv back before this all started!

Matt and I decided we'll probably only watch a show in the evenings 2-3 times a week and maybe one movie on the weekend.  We want to try to alternate Friday family movie nights with Sunday family Wii night.  But we also want to keep up the better bedtimes and mornings.  We want to keep playing cards with Luke. 

As grouchy as I was in January about all of this (and more than a few times during it), I knew it would be better for our family in the end.  And it really was.  I don't know that we would have had the discipline to keep it up if Matt wasn't committed to the program so as much as parts of it were a giant pain (again, more to him than me!), I am glad he did it.

I don't think every family needs to or should take 90 days off of screens but I am happy with the results of it for us.  Except now Matt is talking about doing a family version next year and I'm already leery at the thought of myself completely giving up screens for 90 days.  But that does sound better than cold showers in January.

Cutting My Social Media Time

I've long been working on spending less time on my phone.  We (almost) all have them and we (almost) all give them hours of our day.  But there are plenty of other things I want to do in my day besides spend time on my phone.  Like spend time with my kids and/or my husband, read books, and find more organizing projects I can take on. 

This is a common topic around here and one I've written about many times before.  But I've also been getting blog hits from people googling the topic and, guess what, I still have more to say! 

Here are some of the past posts I've had on this topic:

 Limiting the Social Media (Sept. 2015)

{7} Ways to Spend Less Time on Your Phone (Feb. 2017)

 Weaning Myself Off Social Media (Nov. 2017)

 How an(other) App Got Me to Spend Less Time on my Phone (Feb. 2018)

Today I'm writing about how exactly I got myself from checking social media, multiple accounts, multiple times a day, to something much more manageable.  Few people can go cold turkey and where I am now has been a very conscious process over many years.  I am very cognizant of what a time suck the internet can be and I want to have control over my time.  That is probably the control freak part of me, a part that could generally use some work letting go, but in this case has served me well.

In the beginning...
I've had Facebook since it was introduced at my college, in December 2004.  It was such a novelty back then!  Who else remembers the outrage when non-college kids were allowed on and then when the news feed was introduced?  We all felt like we were stalking everyone...and then we all got used to seeing what everyone is up to. 

I've had an Instagram since April 2011, before most other people I knew had one.  Although, only 8 years, it feels like longer. 

I got a Twitter sometime around 2009 but haven't even checked that in a year?  I'm not sure.  I've never had Snapchat.  I don't know what else kids use these days but I don't have it, whatever it is. 

For many years I just checked them, mainly Facebook and Instagram whenever I was bored, really.  I couldn't tell you how many times I opened either during the day but it was many. Sometime around when Luke was a baby I started wanting to spend less time on them and gave myself my first limits.  I've tightened them up considerably over time.  Here's how that progression went:

1) Only check my 3 social media channels each 3 times a day
This started with limited them to a morning check, a nap time/quiet time mid-afternoon check, and then an evening check.  I had apps on my phone for all 3 at the time so this was easy.

This kept me from opening my apps any moment I was bored and definitely cut down on the number of times I opened each, even if they still got a significant amount of time in the day.

2) Check each only once a day
Once I was comfortable with step 1, I moved to checking each once a day.  Twitter in the mornings, after my workout was done, Instagram over quiet time, and Facebook in the evenings.  I didn't have a time limit on these checks so my time spent was probably dependent on how bored/tired I was.

Somewhere in this step I also deleted the Facebook and Twitter apps from my phone, mainly checking Facebook from my desktop and Twitter from within my phone's browser.  This made it much harder to open them spontaneously.  

3) No checks while away from home
Our 4G signal is pretty spotty and weak at the lake so trying to check anything beyond the weather and e-mail is pretty useless.  We are often short on data and Matt and I both realized that the weekends we went to the lake, with pretty much no data to use without incurring extra fees, were the most freeing and relaxing.  That really motivated us to put down our phones most of the time we are there.  We text, check weather, I update my Goodreads if I finish or start a book, and if we are there more than a weekend I'll check e-mail.  But that's pretty much it.

This carried over to our vacations - texting and checking weather is a given but on our last trip to the beach, I hardly checked social media or Feedly at all and it made the whole thing so much more relaxing. 

4) Cut out the weekends
I don't remember the time lines of step #1 and #2 but I know when I started cutting out weekend checking and posting (most of the time): October 2017.  Weekdays were fairly predictable with Matt working and Luke having quiet time.  Weekends, not so much.  It was messing with my head to feel like I had "earned" an Instagram check on Saturday or Sunday afternoons, sometimes in the midst of family time.  I was already pretty much only checking Facebook on my desktop computer, which I rarely turn on over the weekend.  So cutting Instagram over the weekend was hard at first but then became so freeing.

There are a few exceptions: I was checking Instagram and posting to my stories during the last Royal wedding last May.  I posted a little bit to my private Instagram when we were navigating the airport and flying home from Vegas last fall.  But those, I think, are the only two weekends I checked Instagram all of 2018.

5) Cut the days I check
Since the start of the year I've cut my time even more.  I've pretty much been off Twitter for a year (although I did login while working on this post and was reminded of all the funny things Luke said that I posted there.  I need to pull those out and then deactivate my account.)  I check Facebook on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, during Sam's morning nap when I am typically working on my computer - usually writing a blog post.  I track my Facebook time and it's rarely more than 30 minutes in the week.

I check Instagram twice a day, Monday - Friday, once during Sam's morning nap and again in the evening sometimes, usually when Matt's either supervising baths or putting the boys to bed, whichever of those he is doing that evening (we alternate those each night).  Each of these checks is 10-15 minutes.  On Wednesdays I only watch stories, don't scroll the feed.

Instagram did put in a handy time alert thing where it tells me when I've hit 25 minutes for the day, then I am out.  My goal is under 2 hours a week in Instagram and with Wednesday being shorter I can usually hit that.  My real goal is to spend more time reading to Luke each week than I spend in Instagram but I can't always entice him to sit down with me but I do get really excited when that happens!
__________________________________

This is where I am at now and for now I am happy with that.  I'm not saying this type of schedule and routine is for everyone but I do think you should be conscious of how much time you are dedicating to seeing someone else's very curated life.  Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to be spending hours each day on social media.  If everyone is as busy as they claim to be then nobody has time for that!  I do enjoy social media, most of the time, but I also have a lot of other things I enjoy too.  We only get 24 hours each day, life is too short to spend too many of them watching someone else. 

How an(other) app got me to spend less time on my phone

I got my first smart phone, an iPhone 4, in September 2011.  Two-ish weeks later we went to Miami because Matt had a work conference (and we didn't have a kid and it was super cheap and easy for me to tag along, also, it was Miami in September which was super comfortable).  I remember being amazed at how easy it was to check things on my phone while at the beach and laying out by the pool (which I did A LOT of while Matt was in meetings...it was lovely).  I had barely had my phone and it sucked me in QUICK.

(Taking this picture which I immediately posted on Instagram.  Also, I still own and wear those flip-flops.  )


Fast forward many years.  I know very few adults (or even teens) without a smartphone.  They are ubiquitous.  We can all check all the things, all the time.  I've ranted many times about seeing people on their phones while at social occasions.  It's right up with not recycling as one of my favorite rants.  (For the record, I am VERY pro-recycling and have yelled at people, almost always people I know, for throwing recyclable items in the garbage.  Basically, I'm super fun to hang out with.).

Now I am really trying to spend less time on my phone, pick it up less, have it interrupt my day less.  Just, LESS.

I've written about this before: {7} Ways to Spend Less Time on Your Phone and Weaning Myself off Social Media.  I still follow those.

But I was still on my phone too much.

We all know they aren't super great.  There are plenty of studies.  I'm not linking to any but google and you'll get a lot of options.  Our phones get us addicted, to being connected, to social media, to responding to all the bells and whistles.

I heard this app, Moment, mentioned multiple times and how it helped you spend less time on your phone.  I thought I had that pretty well under control but after reading about it many places I downloaded it.  I keep it running in the background and it tracks how much screen time I have each day.

It was WAY more than I was expecting.

I've been tracking since November and at first I didn't change my habits, just let it record.  I was around 3.5 hours a day.

A DAY.

On any given day that could be 20 minutes on the "home and lock screen" which doesn't entirely count because that's usually my phone flashing awake at a text message and then at the reminder message.  Or me just checking the time.

But still.

I didn't realize how much time I spent on my phone until I started tracking it.  Or how often I pick it up (average: 56 times a day but the weekends really bring that down.  Probably closer to 80 times on weekdays).  Usually not for real long, but picking up, spending a few minutes, putting it back down.  On repeat.  All day.

So I started working down. 

Since January 1st, I've been right about 2 hours on weekdays and about an hour on weekends.  I'm working on reducing both of those by 15 minutes, and then maybe more still.  As the app tells me, that's an average of 10% of my waking hours!

A few ways I've reduced:

1) Turn off (almost) all alerts.
And I mean nearly all.  I get alerts for phone calls, Facetime, and texts from certain (8) people.  Anything else and my phone doesn't make a noise. If I'm not looking at it I will miss texts until I'm picking up my phone again anyways.  And you know what, it's fine.  (I've never had notification for anything on social media.  I have no need  to get an alert every time someone likes a picture or whatever, that is so pointless.)

2) Stick to my social media check schedule
As I wrote about here.  I've moved a few things around as I've changed my computer schedule (spending more time on it at quiet time but rarely in the evenings) but I stick to this mostly as written.  I'm not scrolling Instagram while in the grocery checkout line (also because I usually have Luke with me and he's pretty chatty).

3) Try not to pick it up unless I have at least two reasons
I try to respond to texts from Matt right away (or as soon as possible) or sometimes there is just something I "need" to do.  But I don't pick it up to log my water consumption unless I'm picking it up for another reason too.  I rarely shop on my phone, no more browsing Target online because I "need" a basket.  If it is important, I'll remember to do it later.

You guys, I am FAR from perfect with this.  SO FAR.  But I have reduced the time spent on my phone by over 40%, trying to get it even lower.  I don't want this little device to be where I spend all my time.  I want to control it, not let it control me.

And blah blah blah.  I know.  But downloading this app, has really helped me out.  Waaaaay more than I expected.  Nothing like checking my time to realize, holy crap, I have spent a lot of time on my phone already this morning.  HOW?!?!?

(From what I can tell, the app doesn't add minutes for time spent actually talking on the phone or doing Facetime.  But for all other screentime, as long as the app is running.)

(Also, this doesn't account for the time I spend on my computer, but I try to keep that mostly to "work": blogging, planning vacations, budgeting, tax prep, organizing pictures, photobooks, etc.)

Have you tried Moment?  What other tips do you have for reducing time on your phone (other than tossing the whole thing, which is honestly tempting once in awhile.)?