Friday, April 26, 2013

FAQs round 2

More questions we are getting frequently...

Q: How long were you listed/waiting?
A: We were listed just under 10 months. It was 15 months from starting the adoption process to being placed.  It was 3+ years from starting trying to get pregnant to getting a baby. 

Q: Is this an open or closed adoption?
A: Definitely not closed since we met the birth mother multiple times and know her last name (I'm not sure if we are supposed to but it was all over the hospital room, that's what he went by until discharge, and it's on some stuff they sent home with us).

It's somewhere between open and semi-open I think.  Open is when we know everything about each other (kinda yes).  Semi-open is when you correspond but it all goes through someone else (i.e. social worker) and we wouldn't have identifying details.  We haven't worked out how we will correspond with them.  Something to talk about with the attorney.

Q: What comes next?
A:  We have to have 2 post placement visits with our social worker.  We had the first one yesterday.  The second is scheduled for mid-June.  Once we get those visits done our attorney will set a court date, probably in August. The judge will make it official official then (even though it feels pretty official ready).

Q: Did the adoption go through Catholic Charities
A: Technically, no.  Technically it is a private adoption (which I think is actually saving us a chunk of thousands).  We were brought into the loop because our CC social worker has worked with the attorney on past adoptions.  Attorney needed more profiles to present and asked our social worker if she had anyone. Social worker had to clear it with us and have us sign a release to give attorney our info.   So if we hadn't been listed with CC it wouldn't have all happened.  But it's not technically though them.

Q: Do you drive with your left foot.
A: Yes, since I was put back in a boot in September I have been driving with my left foot.  I don't even think about it anymore.

Q: What do you need?
A: Baby wise we need nothing.  We have all the needs, at least for awhile (at some point we will run out of clothes but that's a ways away).  We registered for some things we would like.

Q: What big things do you need?
A: Nothing, really.  The biggest thing I think we registered for was a jogging stroller.  We already have a crib, pack n play (2 actually), travel system, and car seat (again, 2).  We're borrowing a few things from my sister (thanks!!).  There really isn't anything big we need or want (besides the previously mentioned stroller).

Q: When can you be listed again?
A: Once this adoption is finalized we can be listed again.  We've talked about it and have an date in mind when we'll start the process again.

Q: Do you have to go through all the same paperwork?
A: No.  Since we've already had a home study and filled out piles of paperwork, it'll just be a home study update which is cheaper and easier.   We won't have to refill out all the paperwork again (if we did we'd pretty much just copy what we did last time).  There is no time frame for just needing an update rather than starting over.  We could wait 10 years and still just get updated (we don't plan on waiting near that long). 

Q: Is it more expensive than giving birth?
A: International adoption (from what I've heard) is really expensive.  At least $20,000.  We don't think we'll be paying much more than what we would have if I had given birth to a baby who had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU.  Most of our direct adoption fees (attorney, home study, listing fees) we will get back from the tax credit. 

I really don't mind questions, just trying to answer them once instead of lots of times. =)  I'd rather people ask than have wrong stuff being passed around.


Lauren said...

Very interesting! Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It's funny how the time you were listed is so close to a normal gestation period (although 3+ years total of waiting is not!). I'm so happy for you guys that you finally got your little boy <3

DD said...

I like when you update this me something to read and often when I see you I am too distracted by kids that I don't have a chance to really ask you these types of questions =)

diana said...

Well I will try to post more to keep you entertained. =) And I write partially to remember all this for us too.