Running and RA

Four years ago I got it in my head that a good way to celebrate turning 30 would be to run a half marathon.  At that point I had had one foot surgery and was barely running, had never run more than 2 miles.  But I thought running 13.1 sounded like a good idea.  I got my husband and brother-in-law, both also turning 30 that year, to agree.  My sister.  My Dad.  A cousin.

Then I had lingering foot problems and had to drop down to walking 4 miles instead.  A year later I had foot surgery #2.  Matt pushed me in a wheelchair for the 4 mile walk that year (we had registered before we knew about my surgery).

The next year, two years ago, I started running again, kinda.  Limp running.  Still dealing with some lingering foot and knee problems from all the surgeries and time in a boot.  I was going to PT most of the summer but still signed up to run the 4 mile race.  Which I did.  I walked a few times.  But I was barely a year past surgery and I was pretty proud I could run at all; the doctor had said it would take a year to get back to where I was before surgery and where I was before surgery wasn't a very good place, foot wise.

Then last year I knew I could do better.  I signed up for the 10k (6.2 miles).  I started running.  A LOT.  300+ miles last year.  Had more foot problems (because I always do) but ran the whole race and was quite proud of that.  The training got annoying and the pain a lot but I did it.

Then a month after the race I was at the doctor for problems I had been having with my hand.  A couple of my knuckles had been swollen for months and usually painful.  I was tired of taking Aleve twice a day to keep all my pains at bay.  I wanted a solution that got me off the daily drugs I had been on for the last 5 years.

Well.  Turns out that's never going to happen.  I was diagnosed with RA - rheumatoid arthritis.  Chronic auto-immune disease.  I'll never get rid of it, only manage it.  My body's immune system is all messed up and it attacks healthy cells.  Like the joints in my hands, my biggest problem.  I also have a weakened immune system which means I can get sick easier and take longer to get rid of it (which explains the HORRIBLE cold I had for months last fall).

I wanted off Aleve but I'm still on that twice a day as well as 3 prescriptions and a variety of supplements to help my body absorb and cope with everything.  I go to the doctor quarterly, mostly for prescription refills and blood work, to make sure my liver is coping with all the meds.  I sometimes have days where I think I'm doing fine and start skipping Aleve doses.  I quickly realize it's the drugs that are making everything fine.

I'm a pretty big hypochondriac, mostly because I feel like if I suspect it, it won't be true.  If I constantly think I might have skin cancer then I probably don't (I realize this makes little sense).  But when it comes to diseases I actually have, turns out I go into a lot of denial.  I told Matt immediately (pretty sure he got a crying voicemail from me at work) but I didn't even tell my parents for a month and my sisters a few weeks after that. Telling people made it more real.

This year, in sticking with my recent "increase my race distance every year" plan and my new "I want to do this now in case my joints get worse and I can't do this again" plan, I decided to run that half marathon I first signed up for 4 years ago. And I ran it Saturday.

My first goal: finishing.
My second goal: running the whole thing
My third goal: beating the times my sisters (2) and brother-in-laws (2) had.

And I met all my goals.
 
Finish time: 2:06, about 9:30 pace.

Crossing that finish line was a pretty good feeling.  It may have taken 4 years, but I finally did it.  

The run wasn’t easy but it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. It felt so good that I could do this, I could run 13 miles, that all my training paid off.  (Three years ago I couldn’t walk, something I thought of a lot during training.)

I prayed a rosary about half way through (at least, I think I did. I kept losing my spot, even with ticking off Hail Marys on my fingers). I wore some of Matt’s (nice, new) socks. A hat from my college roommate’s wedding, one of the strongest women I know (she ran Boston this spring and that’s just for starters).  A sports bra from one of my sisters.  A shirt with my Grandpa’s name, matching my two cousins also running the half, as well as my Dad and sister running another race. It felt like I had a whole bunch of people helping me do this run. And that’s on top of the hundreds along the route with signs, cheers, and lots of high fives.

I would have gotten emotional about it all if I wasn’t distracted by hip pain in the final miles.


I've run a lot of miles, planned my life around running especially the last 2 months.  I've had more foot blisters than I care to count, too many of them bloody (I know, probably a shoe problem.).  I've had bad 3 mile runs and great 10 mile ones.  I've pushed Luke in the stroller for a couple hundred miles and had a lot of conversations about Moana.  And jet skis.  And why other animals eat the eyes of the dead squirrel we saw every run for 2 months.  It was a good distraction.

And, besides the toe blisters, my pain is a lot less than it was a year ago.  A decent amount of drugs probably have something to do with that.  The (plum sized) cysts I've had in both knees for years have mostly gone away.  The pain isn't that bad.  Somehow all this running has made my RA even less of a problem.

Probably not enough to get me to sign up for a half marathon again next year (or, heaven forbid, the full marathon, I have NO aspirations for that).  The last couple weeks I was OVER running.  (The 80°-90° temps didn't help matters.)  I do not want to have to schedule my life around long runs, like I've done too much of recently. 

Running 10.25 miles around the lake a month(ish) ago.

But after all the foot problems I've had the last 6 years, being diagnosed with a disease that affects my joints, I'm pretty darn proud of finishing that half, and in a decent time.  I may not be 30, or even early 30s at this point.  I know quite a few people who have run it faster than me.  But I did it.  My weeks of being couch bound doesn't feel that long ago.  Until 14 months before my race I had never run more than 3 miles.  And then I turned into one of those annoying people who called 5 miles a short run.  My "short long" runs were 9 miles.

running on vacation in Florida!

It was a great lesson in accomplishing what had at once seemed impossible.  At persevering through the pain.  At keeping going even when the going was tough.   I was impressed with what my body could take, my own mental strength.  I can do more than I thought I could.  And sometimes that reminder comes in very handy.


And now I don't have to do it ever again.

(But I probably will.  That finishing high was too great to pass up again.)

(But not until I've forgotten about all the pains and blisters and giving my life over to training and tired legs and just wanting to sleep the rest of the day after running 10+ miles.  Someday it'll all be a distant memory.)

The state of the foot, one year later

It's been one year since my second foot surgery.  As far as surgeries go, foot surgery seems about the least risky, judged solely on the fact that it's as far away from the brain and heart as you can get.  So in the grand scheme of things, one morning at surgery and a few weeks on crutches isn't that big of deal.  Yes, it sucked, in many ways but we survived.

It's been more than 4 years since my foot problems began.  That's been 2 surgeries, 4 MRIs, 6 1/2 months in the boot, 7 doctors (5 foot, 2 knee), 9 weeks on crutches, 10 physical therapists, and spent more money than I care to figure out.   My initial diagnosis of tendinitis wasn't right.  Another diagnosis of sprained ankle, ruptured tendon, hairline fracture, and torn ligament has been disputed.  I've been told my problems come from being old (I was 29 at the time), being pregnant (never happened), from having uneven legs (true), from having an extra bone in my foot (true, at one time), from running early in the morning (which I did but the effect is debatable), from wearing a boot for too long (all on doctor's recommendations), and from falling (never happened).  

All this to say, nobody really knows why my foot started acting up in the summer of 2011.  BUT the good news...I think I might, finally, mostly, be healed.  I've been running a few times a week since late July.  I've been able to wear heels again (as evidenced by posts like this and this).  I only take pain meds as needed, down from 4/day earlier this summer.  I can go down stairs facing forward (I figured out a long time ago that it was easier to go backwards with my bad foot, I don't remember why).  My foot rarely seizes up like it used to and my bad tendon rarely hurts.  My bad foot is still a little tight and I still do my PT at home 5 days a week but doing that keeps most of my problems at bay.  Luke's watched me so many times he basically knows them all and usually joins in for parts.

I'm running my first real race soon.  Matt & I have done the Color Me Rad twice but that's not a race at all, just fun.  The race I've signed up for twice before I've had to walk or been pushed in a wheelchair.  Third time is the charm because I'm finally running (at least part of it, I am pretty sure I can't handle 4 miles yet) it this time.

I'm ready for my foot to no longer be a big issue in my life.  For the last 4 years it's been a lot of foot and adoption.  Adoption and foot.  Two things I never thought I'd be dealing with became huge things.  Having just one of those to focus on sounds wonderful.

Every time I'm running and want to quit, I remember my years of not being able to and am able to keep going.  Every time I get frustrated with the adoption I look at Luke and know we have to keep going.  The things you want were once the things you dreamed about.

The interelated woes of my foot & adoption

Last week was a tough one. It's been 13+ months since we started the adoption process for our second child. 11 months since we were approved. 6 months officially listed.  As much as we may try to brace ourselves for a long wait, there is always the part of me that hopes we'll be the couple to get placed within weeks. It does happen, just not to us (apparently).

I've also started having foot and knee problems again, stuff that has been bothering me since after my first surgery.  I have cysts behind both knees, big enough that I can see them and very easily feel them.

Somehow, we always seem to be working on adoption stuff and foot things at the same time.  We found out I would be having my first surgery within days of our original intake that started the adoption process.  It was last May when we had our first physicals and fingerprints for adoption #2 as well as 4 appointments for my foot, one of those being the one where we found out about surgery #2.  We were listed with both our agencies shortly after my second time on crutches was over (and actually not too long after I started walking the first time too).  When I first had surgery and spent my recovering filling out adoption paperwork, I remember thinking that someday I'd have a healed foot and a baby and all that craziness would be behind us.  I ended up running for the first time post-surgery on, literally, the day Luke was born.  How weird is that??

Last week we had our fingerprints rescheduled (more than once) due to a machine problem, I had my annual physical (Matt's was this week), actually getting fingerprinted, and filling out our annual round of background checks. This is the 4th time we've done this fingerprint, physical, background check process, since our original ones expired right around the time we were being placed with Luke.  I also had two PT appointments, both of with Luke along.  In 10 days I will have had 7 doctor/PT visits. 


Most of it isn't a big deal but it feels like a lot to have on our plates at once.  The fingerprint place is in its 3rd location in 3 years (and this was the scariest yet). We have to get TB tests done and it's always a pain to go back and have those read. Doing a urine drug test isn't the most pleasant thing with a toddler in the same room.  There are fees with some of that (last year I got billed $40 for the 20 seconds it took a nurse to read my TB test when I could even tell I didn't have it) but we should get it all back with our next adoption credit, assuming we'll get a baby at some point. (Thank you, kind Americans!)  And Luke has gotten more comfortable hanging out at PT with me and he's no longer scared of the exercises I do at home. 

I keep telling myself that God's timing is best, I stare at evidence of that every single day (Luke, not a healed foot).  If things had gone "our" way Luke wouldn't be in our lives which is a very sobering thought.  I've never had to place such blind faith in God like I have the last 6 years.  Probably says something about how relatively easy my life has been but it's also been a really good lesson.

Last Thursday Luke and I left home before 8 to get fingerprinted, followed by 2 errands on our way to the doctor's for our physicals (Luke needs one too). Then 2 more stops before home at noon for a few hours (basically lunch and nap time) before before I had PT.  Since Matt went into work late so he could get fingerprinted we all ate breakfast together and I didn't read my morning devotional* until lunch.  It was the most perfect timing for how I had been feeling all week.

When I read that I felt a sudden calmness, as if an egg had been cracked on my head and was running down. We are doing what we need to do and have to leave the rest up to God. We pray many times a day for "next baby" and Luke has taken to talking about "Luke, mommy, daddy, baby".  But besides prayer and keeping our info current, there isn't much we can do besides wait and trust. Trust and wait.

Same with my foot.  I'm going to PT.  I'm doing my exercises at home.  I'm taking the pain meds.  I'm wearing a knee brace almost all my waking hours.   I'm doing what I can to finally walk like a normal person.

We're all given different struggles in life. I know this is all awfully petty compared to some. There's the old story about how you might complain about your cross but when you are given the option you realize yours is the smallest. God has always known and prepared us for this one. We don't understand it all now and maybe never will.  But it makes sense to Him and I'm learning to let that be enough. There are most definitely hard days and tough moments.  It would be nice to spread out the struggles a little, maybe.

Then there are also times I really think about what adding an infant will do to our schedule and routine...and I quickly realize I should enjoy just having one for now,  (Remembering all those nights of a screaming baby, the struggle to get Luke on a routine, working around two or three daily naps, AND having a toddler on top of that??).  We definitely still want more kids...it's just a good way to appreciate what we have now instead of focusing on what we don't. =)
_______________________________________________________________________
*Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, highly recommend it!

The foot: one week later

I have now been completely crutch free for 4 days.  I forgot how amazing it was to walk.  And carry things while walking.  And how much easier it is to care for Luke when I can walk and carry him.  It's wonderful.

The first few days after my doctor's appointment were rough.  I barely walked once I got permission because it hurt so darn much.  Last time I started walking more gradually which made it easier.  This time it was nothing for 43 days to immediately full weight.  It didn't go well.  I was a bit of a mess that evening.  I was so excited to be able to carry Luke again, clean my house, and run errands.  I did put Luke to bed all on my own for the first time in weeks but it was painful.  I used the crutches most of the next day.  By Halloween I was determined to walk and once I started carrying things around it was hard to stop. 

For a few more days I used crutches first thing in the morning and in the evenings, when it hurt the most.  Monday was the last time I used them at all.  It still hurts to walk, my right knee especially.  I'm debating on whether the knee pain from wearing the boot (and walking strange) is better or worse then the pain in my ankle would be wearing shoes all the time.  So far I am sticking with the boot.

Besides carrying Luke (the number one thing I was most excited about), I've been able to work out, take showers (AMAZING), and leave the house just Luke & I. Every time we get to go somewhere it is exciting.  Maybe we've been to Target a few times.  Maybe. 

We've had a busy week since I've been walking and it's hard to believe just over a week ago life was so much slower.  Once we were both fed and dressed in the mornings I usually wouldn't accomplish much of anything besides playing with Luke.  We've been running errands, baking Christmas cookies, and cleaning.  I don't miss the crutches but I do miss just being able to hang out with my little guy all day.  That was by far the best thing about crutches. 

I remember being really stressed and busy in the weeks leading up to surgery, trying to get so much done before I'd be laid up.  I remember feeling like I wasn't giving Luke enough time.  Then everything changed and that's all I did.  It was wonderful.  Now, I can't just sit on the couch every day.  I have a house to clean, laundry to do, and meals to prepare.  There are some things that just have to be done.  I am more conscious of Luke though now.  He "helps" me make cookies and frequently comes up to me, reaches out his little arms, and says "I want Mommy.".  That kid can tug at my heart.  When I had surgery he would barely call me Mommy and now he says it all the time.  It's incredible how much he's grown up while I was laid up.  He's picking up names faster, says so many words, and has really turned into a kid, not a baby. 

I hope I can long remember how wonderful and special it was to just spend time with Luke all day.  I can easily get overly caught up in my to-do list but for 6 weeks healing and him were pretty much my list.  It was a special time, really hard a lot of days, but special.  That's the silver lining to surgery.  I wouldn't go as far to say it would be worth the hassle and expense if my foot isn't fixed...but it certainly made the days a lot more enjoyable.

I am definitely not back to 100% yet, that will probably take most of the winter, if not longer.  I lost a lot of muscle in my right leg and my ankle is still pretty stiff.  I limp because of pain and the awkwardness of the boot.  But I am working on it and every day is a little better.  Hopefully, this time it is all fixed for good.

6+ weeks on crutches

I thought I'd write a nice post about how the 6 weeks on crutches was a nice break from our usual routine, helped me get back to what really matters (Luke) and how even though it sucked a lot of the time, there was a lot of good too.

But that's not happening because I'm still on crutches.  Kinda.  We went to the doctor on Wednesday and, after being there an hour and 45 minutes, I got the ok to start walking again.  Everything looks good, I don't have to do PT unless I want to, don't have to follow up anymore unless I feel it's needed.  Good.  Great.

Then I tried to walk.

It hurt.  A LOT.  More than any other pain since surgery.

So...I'm still on crutches, gradually putting more weight on my foot but still on the damn crutches.  Still can't carry anything.  Still can't carry Luke.  Still can't go anywhere without help (besides work where I don't take Luke).  Still have problems on the stairs.  The same as before except more pain.  A lot more pain.

It sucks.  A lot.  I forgot that the worst part of recovery isn't the being laid up part, it's the learning how to walk again part.  Last time I was non-weight bearing for 3 1/2 weeks.  This time was almost double.  My leg has loss a lot of muscle.  My ankle is very tight.  The pain shoots up my leg every time I put more than minimal weight on it.

The only things I can do that I couldn't before is sleep without the boot on and shower (I can put my foot down enough to keep my balance).  Everything else I was looking forward to isn't happening yet.

Everyone says to be patient.  I know.  But it's really hard when I've been counting down to walking.  Literally. 

30 days to go, the day we scheduled the follow-up visit this week.

So.  I try to be patient.  I try to walk.  Keep not carrying, not going anywhere, trying to get Luke to come when he needs a new diaper or lunch or a nap.  I thought I'd be done with that now.

Deja vu to two years ago....

In the early months of 2012 we started the adoption process.  We made the tough call to Catholic Charites to get started.  It was so scary and hard and just a lot.  Then the same week we met with our social worker for the intake meeting I went to a doctor's appointment for my foot and found out I would need surgery on a ruptured tendon.  Starting the adoption process and dealing with impending surgery.  There was a lot on our plates then. 

It's starting to feel a lot like that all over again.

A week after Luke's birthday, in early April, we called Catholic Charities again, to start the adoption process, again.  This time was much less scary.  Our social worker e-mailed the needed paperwork a few hours later and it was much less the second time around.  We only had to update things like our financial statement, get new physicals, redo all the background checks (fingerprinting, CPS checks, 2 other background checks), and fill out a few forms.  No writing long essays about our relationships with our parents and siblings, no autobiographies about our childhood.  It was pretty straight forward.

Around the same time I started to have more foot problems.  The beginning of the year I had felt pretty good - down to just ibuprofen a few times a day and I could function pretty well.  I had high hopes for running with Luke once the weather warmed up.  Then I don't know what happened but things went downhill.  Ibuprofen 3 times a day wasn't cutting it.  I could barely go up and down the stairs.  I had been putting off calling the foot doctor because surgery didn't seem like a viable option with Luke.  Plus, having been through that already once and still being in pain...I was pretty leery.  But after a few too many tears, Matt finally convinced me to call my newest foot doctor (the 5th one I have seen for this).

This doctor is supposed to be the best in town (from many different people) and actually operated on my sister's broken foot right before Matt & I started dating.  I had seen him last fall when things were still looking good.  He ordered some tests.  I had 6 doctor appointments in 4 weeks - 2 with him, 1 MRI, 1 nerve test, my adoption physical, and a regular dentist appointment.  Luke was drug along to 3 of those.  Let me tell you, if you don't have kids enjoy every second you don't have to entertain them in a doctor's office. 

His only real solution was surgery.  Again.  I have an extra bone in my foot that rubs against my bad tendon.  He said the only way to really fix it is to take this bone out.  I trust him because everyone says he's the best.  I broke down a little when he told me about surgery and he promised he would fix it.  After over 3 years of this pain, 5 doctors, 6 physical therapists, and countless hours of pain, I need a solution.  We went into this knowing surgery was probably our only real option but were hoping for something different.  That didn't happen.

It was really hard accepting surgery again, especially because I take care of a toddler all day.  I am expected to be on crutches for 6 weeks post surgery so my tendon can get fully reattached.  Last time I was on crutches for 3 1/2 weeks and that was annoying. 

Getting that news the same week we were finishing up our adoption paperwork to turn in was really tough.  Really felt like 2 years earlier when it all happened at once, again.  (Except no trip to Europe this time.)  I didn't even tell anyone, besides Matt, about surgery for over a month because I was in pretty strong denial.  Scheduling it after summer (3 1/2 months away at the time) made it feel pretty far away anyways.

Good news is that we were approved for the second adoption back in July.  After turning in our paperwork we met with our social worker once to update our home study and then we were approved by Catholic Charities.  Bad news is that they have a waiting list for their waiting list and we are about 4th on that.  So it could be a while before we are able to even be presented to birth mothers.  We are going to relist with Lutheran Social Services as well and are all approved with them.  We are going to wait until my time on crutches is coming to an end to prepare our profile but should be ready to go by Halloween.

For now, we prepare for my surgery next week.  I'm off all my pain meds for the required 7 days before surgery which isn't fun.  I've been baking like a bit of a crazy person to fill the freezer with all the buns Matt will need and plenty of cookies and muffins (between that and summer produce preserving we are running out of space fast!).  I did a menu plan for the 6 weeks I'll be laid up, all things Matt says he can make.  We did a big grocery stock up so hopefully Matt will just have to buy things like milk, produce, and cold meat.  I've been finishing up loose ends on projects around here and doing shopping in advance for the fall (things like Luke's fall/winter wardrobe and Halloween costume and Matt's birthday presents).  Luke and I have been practicing the stairs all summer and I still feel like it's inevitable that we will fall down them at some point.

I'm terrified at how hard it will be to watch Luke when I can't carry him around, can't really do anything besides lay on the couch or sit on the floor.  Matt was only able to take off the day of surgery and the day after.  Last time I had him for 4 days and there wasn't a toddler to watch! 

I've told Matt many times that we should just cancel surgery because it's too expensive (not looking forward to those bills but at least my MRI got us close to our deductible amount!), too hard to manage with Luke.  I can just live in tennis shoes forever, never run again, and take pain meds multiple times a day (I currently take 3-4 Aleve a day which makes it so I can walk and even wear flip-flops or heels occasionally!).  He said I'm having the surgery, that's that.  I will appreciate that someday.  Hopefully next spring when Luke and I can go for jogs.  When I'm finally not taking drugs just to walk. 

It will all work out.  It always does.

FAQs round 2

More questions we are getting frequently...

Q: How long were you listed/waiting?
A: We were listed just under 10 months. It was 15 months from starting the adoption process to being placed.  It was 3+ years from starting trying to get pregnant to getting a baby. 

Q: Is this an open or closed adoption?
A: Definitely not closed since we met the birth mother multiple times and know her last name (I'm not sure if we are supposed to but it was all over the hospital room, that's what he went by until discharge, and it's on some stuff they sent home with us).

It's somewhere between open and semi-open I think.  Open is when we know everything about each other (kinda yes).  Semi-open is when you correspond but it all goes through someone else (i.e. social worker) and we wouldn't have identifying details.  We haven't worked out how we will correspond with them.  Something to talk about with the attorney.

Q: What comes next?
A:  We have to have 2 post placement visits with our social worker.  We had the first one yesterday.  The second is scheduled for mid-June.  Once we get those visits done our attorney will set a court date, probably in August. The judge will make it official official then (even though it feels pretty official ready).

Q: Did the adoption go through Catholic Charities
A: Technically, no.  Technically it is a private adoption (which I think is actually saving us a chunk of money...like thousands).  We were brought into the loop because our CC social worker has worked with the attorney on past adoptions.  Attorney needed more profiles to present and asked our social worker if she had anyone. Social worker had to clear it with us and have us sign a release to give attorney our info.   So if we hadn't been listed with CC it wouldn't have all happened.  But it's not technically though them.

Q: Do you drive with your left foot.
A: Yes, since I was put back in a boot in September I have been driving with my left foot.  I don't even think about it anymore.

Q: What do you need?
A: Baby wise we need nothing.  We have all the needs, at least for awhile (at some point we will run out of clothes but that's a ways away).  We registered for some things we would like.

Q: What big things do you need?
A: Nothing, really.  The biggest thing I think we registered for was a jogging stroller.  We already have a crib, pack n play (2 actually), travel system, and car seat (again, 2).  We're borrowing a few things from my sister (thanks!!).  There really isn't anything big we need or want (besides the previously mentioned stroller).

Q: When can you be listed again?
A: Once this adoption is finalized we can be listed again.  We've talked about it and have an date in mind when we'll start the process again.

Q: Do you have to go through all the same paperwork?
A: No.  Since we've already had a home study and filled out piles of paperwork, it'll just be a home study update which is cheaper and easier.   We won't have to refill out all the paperwork again (if we did we'd pretty much just copy what we did last time).  There is no time frame for just needing an update rather than starting over.  We could wait 10 years and still just get updated (we don't plan on waiting near that long). 

Q: Is it more expensive than giving birth?
A: International adoption (from what I've heard) is really expensive.  At least $20,000.  We don't think we'll be paying much more than what we would have if I had given birth to a baby who had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU.  Most of our direct adoption fees (attorney, home study, listing fees) we will get back from the tax credit. 

I really don't mind questions, just trying to answer them once instead of lots of times. =)  I'd rather people ask than have wrong stuff being passed around.

It's almost the most wonderful time of the year

It's almost Thanksgiving!!  I am super excited about this.  I love the last 6-7 weeks of the year. 

 We had our first Thanksgiving yesterday, with most of my immediate family (parents, sisters, brother-in-laws).  We have two on Thursday and then a Thankmas (Thanksgiving/Christmas) in a few weeks.  Lots of family time coming up. =)

Today I turned in our packet of paperwork to Lutheran Social Services. 

This one was only 21 pages!!  (Slightly smaller than our first Catholic Charities packet).  Had 2 applications to fill out, then copies of 3 years of W-2s and our marriage license.  Not too bad.  Now just have to get through another home study visit.  Hope to be listed by the end of the year.

Tonight I got Matt to help me dip truffles.  I make two kinds: cookie dough and Oreo.  I rolled them both 2 weeks ago (while watching election results) but I dread dipping them.  I still have a bit of a fear of melted chocolate (never seems to work like I hope). 

With Matt helping it took a little over an hour.  Very relieved to have that done!  Basically down to baking & frosting cookies (dough is made) and then a few things that barely count because they are so easy (chex mix, 6 layer bars).  I really like the excuse to spend so much time baking.  These treats will last us quite awhile (I finished my last truffle from last year's batch in late September).

Today I had my 14th doctor's appointment since Labor Day (11 weeks ago).  5 different doctors, 4 sets of xrays, 3 shots, 2 MRIs, 1 person very very tired of going to the doctor.  I think I should be done with doctors for awhile now!  And by "awhile" I mean about 6 weeks...I have a follow-up foot appointment 1/3/13.  I think that will be my longest doctor break all year. 

That's about it.  By this time next week we should have our tree and a mostly decorated house!  So excited for this long Thanksgiving weekend!!

Home Study

In today's mail we got a congratulatory letter from Catholic Charities along with a copy of our home study report.  It's very strange reading someone else's summary of your life.  We met with the social worker 3 times and shared some e-mails.  That's it.  And she's the one that had to determine that we would make competent parents.  Just strange to see the things she picked up on.  Not necessarily all the same things I would have said.  Also, all (a lot) of you are mentioned, by name, in our report!  All our siblings and their spouses.  Not kids, they are just the number per sibling.  And our parents each have a whole paragraph.  Matt's working hard on the layout of the profile.  I've been pulling pictures and writing stuff.  We're getting there. 

Today was a better foot day.  I consider it a pretty big accomplishment if I can do stairs normally and walk without a limp.  I make Matt watch me walk to see if I am walking ok.  Today was a good but my foot is hurting.  A lot.  It needs to get better quick!!

APPROVED!

I had my 4th post-surgery appointment today so I thought I'd have a foot update.  I do, I guess.  It's coming along, pain is normal since I'm still getting used to no boot.  They got me an ankle brace to take on our trip.  My foot really hurt today since I was up and around so much yesterday and that concerned me for our trip.  Doctor doesn't think I'll need the boot, which is really good.  I didn't want to lug that all over Europe.

So there's that but even more exciting...we got this e-mail from our social worker today:

CONGRATS!!!!!  You have officially been approved!!!!! 

As in, our home study has been approved!  All that needs done to be listed is our profile (which we are working on).  The social worker we met with wrote the report and then it had to be approved by a couple superiors.  I was shocked it all happened within a week.  She said she has 60 days and never taken that long, I really wasn't expecting 6 days!!   I am anxious to be listed but really don't want it to happen before we leave.  I had a dream a couple nights ago that we just got a call for a baby and I really wanted the baby but I really wanted the trip too (after all this planning and money).  Soo...no baby before we leave.  Hopefully we're listed shortly after we return.

Pretty good day, for a Monday.

Progress!!

Seems like we made little progress on the paperwork the later part of last week and then in the last 24 hours we've gotten a lot done.  Relatively speaking.  We took those 2 classes last night and today found out we passed (yay!) so printed those certificates for our files.  Took another class tonight (The Journey of Attachment).  Just gotta pass this one and then take one more.  Then another thing we can check off the list.  I'm all about checking things off the list.

I filled out a form tonight about which agency we are working with.  Really not a big deal since we're only working with one (so far) but had to e-mail our social worker to see what to do with it so it just hadn't gotten done.  Still...another one to check off.

And then, the one that scared me the most, I finally got my work verification.  As in I had to tell them.  My boss was shocked.  My favorite part "What am I going to do without you?"  =)  I may complain about my job but, I think, I am pretty dang good at it (most of the time).  Anyways, he asked what that meant for my employment...I asked if we could talk about that after tax season.  Yeah.  Like I said, I know I complain about it but...it will be hard leaving.  This summer will be 7 years and it's made me grow up a lot. 

So, now down to 8 things to check off.  Goal for this week: finish classes, finish asking for recommendations, schedule finger printing,  and print health ins. verification (speaking of health insurance, got my first bills for my MRI and surgery...yep...expensive 4 weeks of morning running).  Maybe get 2 forms notarized??  That'll leave us just the health exams (scheduled), finger printing (almost scheduled) and autobiographies.  We are getting there!!!

Foot and adoption progress

Today has been a really good day for both my foot and the adoption.  First off...my foot.  Had a follow-up appointment at 10 this morning (which ended up being closer to 11).  Got all the dressing off my foot (there were a lot of layers) and got to see my incision for the first time.  Don't look if you are squeamish but it really isn't that bad.

My incision

See, didn't even gross me out.  You can still see my "yes" marking the right ankle and the "JD" is the doctor initialing it to show he agreed.  He was very pleased with how it was healing.  Said there is no infection and everything looks good.  This was the first I had talked to him since my surgery so he explained a little more what he had to do.  There are stitches in my tendon and he got rid of the scar tissue.  Said there was a lot of yellow stuff (??).  And my leg didn't even look gross but it was only closed up for 5 days, I heard horror stories from people who were casted much longer.

He put a light dressing over it and now I have a boot.  I am allowed to gradually put some weight on my foot but still use crutches to walk.  I go back again next week. 

The pain is getting a lot better.  I took my pills before getting up this morning and that was the last time.  It pulls occasionally but really isn't too bad.  If I can stay off the pain pills I won't need the nausea meds which put me to sleep.  That will be better for going back to work. 

Today is my last day at home which is sad.  Once I got the nausea under control being at home has been pretty nice.  Plus today is a just a gorgeous day, we've had blinds open since we've been home, the sun is out.  Really good day to be home. =)

Since we were both home and I was feeling mostly normal we got back to the adoption papers.  I think we made good progress today, finished filling out most of our papers.  Got our reference envelopes ready to go.  Made copies of our licenses, birth certificates, proof of auto insurance, proof of life insurance, copy of our marriage license.  I went through the checklist of everything that needs to be returned and we have about 2/3 done.  Still need to get finger printed, get a health exam, take online parenting classes, get credit reports, write the autobiography, get employment verification, and have a few forms notarized.  That's basically it.  Oh and scan in everything we filled out.  Our goal it to have it all back to Catholic Charities about the end of the month (we have until April 16th).  That'll give them some time to process all our background checks.

From what I've read a lot of people seem to get overwhelmed with the homestudy but that seems like an easier part.  We'll get interviewed and have to have our house spotless but it's the social worker who writes up that whole report.  We don't have anything to hide.  It seems fairly easy for us.  The big thing we have left is the autobiography but even that isn't scaring me as much as it was.  We hope to get through some of the other forms and take the online classes this weekend. 

Made it through surgery, made it through the bridal shower, feel on top of the whole adoption thing.  Life is slowly getting easier. =)

The surgical experience

So this has been a big couple of days for us.  On top of the whole adoption thing I also had surgery last Thursday.  When I first found out I told people it wasn't real surgery because it was only on my foot...I take that back.  Definitely felt real.  Wednesday night I cleaned the house and tried to get things ready for being couch bound.  Did some prep for Kat's shower.  Drank as much water as I could up until 11:59:59 (literally, the last second). 

We had to be at the surgery center at 12:30.  Got all checked in and then waited.  About 1 they took us back so I could change and get all hooked up to the machines (IV, heart monitor, blood pressure, and blood-oxygen finger thing).  That took about 15 minutes.  Then we waited...a long time.  One of those times iPhones really help. 

All hooked up and ready

Had to make sure they got the right ankle.  I already miss it...

I was supposed to have surgery at 2pm.  They didn't even come back to do my block until a little before 3.  Yep...running a little late.  They said the block would be better recovery than general anesthesia.  I got some sleeping drugs in my IV so I don't remember much after that.  I do remember rolling to my right side so it would only numb that leg but I don't remember the actual shot.  Which is good.  The IV needle was scary enough.  Matt was able to come back for another 15 minutes or so before they took me back.  I remember talking to him about our trip and then I remember being in the OR when they were putting up the curtain.  Next thing I knew it was all over.  Surgery was the easiest part of the day!!

Post-surgery, feeling pretty good

I was back to recovery around 4:30.  I don't remember being there without Matt but he said it was about 15 minutes before he came back.  I FINALLY got something to drink.  That was amazing.  The block took most of the rest of the night to wear off so I was feeling pretty good.  We washed the car on the way to Target for my drugs (my idea, it was pretty gross after driving to Michigan).

My view for the last few days

Home and took my drugs right away.  The drugs kept the pain away but also made me nauseous.  Didn't have a very pleasant first 24 hours.  They called another prescription in to help with the nausea and once I got that I was able to mostly stop the puking.  If I get overly ambitious and off the couch too much I get light headed and sick but as long as I'm on the couch I feel pretty normal.  The pain isn't too bad in my foot.  I am hooked up to the cooler most of the time.  Sometimes I can feel the stitches pulling weird and it can take a little while to get comfortable but for the most part it's not too bad. 

We go to the doctor tomorrow (Tuesday) for my first follow-up.  I don't know if I'm getting a boot already or if it'll be another cast.  I know I won't be putting weight on it for awhile still.  I am anxious to see my incision and see how gross my leg got in 5 days.  I'm supposed to be back at work on Wednesday but I highly doubt I'll make it all day judging by how I felt being up a few hours on Sunday.  We'll see how it goes.  All this time on the couch hasn't been too bad at all.  Pretty enjoyable, actually.