Friday, November 7, 2014

The foot: one week later

I have now been completely crutch free for 4 days.  I forgot how amazing it was to walk.  And carry things while walking.  And how much easier it is to care for Luke when I can walk and carry him.  It's wonderful.

The first few days after my doctor's appointment were rough.  I barely walked once I got permission because it hurt so darn much.  Last time I started walking more gradually which made it easier.  This time it was nothing for 43 days to immediately full weight.  It didn't go well.  I was a bit of a mess that evening.  I was so excited to be able to carry Luke again, clean my house, and run errands.  I did put Luke to bed all on my own for the first time in weeks but it was painful.  I used the crutches most of the next day.  By Halloween I was determined to walk and once I started carrying things around it was hard to stop. 

For a few more days I used crutches first thing in the morning and in the evenings, when it hurt the most.  Monday was the last time I used them at all.  It still hurts to walk, my right knee especially.  I'm debating on whether the knee pain from wearing the boot (and walking strange) is better or worse then the pain in my ankle would be wearing shoes all the time.  So far I am sticking with the boot.

Besides carrying Luke (the number one thing I was most excited about), I've been able to work out, take showers (AMAZING), and leave the house just Luke & I. Every time we get to go somewhere it is exciting.  Maybe we've been to Target a few times.  Maybe. 

We've had a busy week since I've been walking and it's hard to believe just over a week ago life was so much slower.  Once we were both fed and dressed in the mornings I usually wouldn't accomplish much of anything besides playing with Luke.  We've been running errands, baking Christmas cookies, and cleaning.  I don't miss the crutches but I do miss just being able to hang out with my little guy all day.  That was by far the best thing about crutches. 

I remember being really stressed and busy in the weeks leading up to surgery, trying to get so much done before I'd be laid up.  I remember feeling like I wasn't giving Luke enough time.  Then everything changed and that's all I did.  It was wonderful.  Now, I can't just sit on the couch every day.  I have a house to clean, laundry to do, and meals to prepare.  There are some things that just have to be done.  I am more conscious of Luke though now.  He "helps" me make cookies and frequently comes up to me, reaches out his little arms, and says "I want Mommy.".  That kid can tug at my heart.  When I had surgery he would barely call me Mommy and now he says it all the time.  It's incredible how much he's grown up while I was laid up.  He's picking up names faster, says so many words, and has really turned into a kid, not a baby. 

I hope I can long remember how wonderful and special it was to just spend time with Luke all day.  I can easily get overly caught up in my to-do list but for 6 weeks healing and him were pretty much my list.  It was a special time, really hard a lot of days, but special.  That's the silver lining to surgery.  I wouldn't go as far to say it would be worth the hassle and expense if my foot isn't fixed...but it certainly made the days a lot more enjoyable.

I am definitely not back to 100% yet, that will probably take most of the winter, if not longer.  I lost a lot of muscle in my right leg and my ankle is still pretty stiff.  I limp because of pain and the awkwardness of the boot.  But I am working on it and every day is a little better.  Hopefully, this time it is all fixed for good.

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