Paperwork is in

That's it.  Matt dropped off our paperwork today.  Here's what is in that stack of 89 pages:

1) fees and refund policy - signed
2) agency application (1 page, front and back)
3) agency adoption program agreement and informed consent (signed & notarized)
4) self-referred adoption services agreement and informed consent (signed & notarized)
5) client handbook - signed
6) autobiography/social history - paper written by each of us, mine is 17 pages, Matt's is 12
7) family information guide - 4 pages front & back, filled out by each of us, information about our parents, siblings, our upbringing (a lot of this was also covered in the autobiography)
8) financial statement - 1 page front & back
9) credit history report & credit score for each
10) employment verification for each (signed by our bosses)
11) proof of life insurance for each
12) proof of car insurance for each
13) discipline policy - signed (saying we won't beat or torture a child)
14) family emergency contact sheet
15) adoptive applicant home diagram and weapon/firearm notification - signed
16) information on placing agency/attorney (just giving them their own contact info because we don't need an attorney yet)
17) resource/guardian information sheet - naming who will care for the child if something happens to us
18) domestic placement adoptive parent training - course certificates for our 4 classes: Conspicuous Families, Let's Talk Adoption, The Journey of Attachment, and Finding the Missing Pieces
19) copy of family photo
20) copy of driver's licenses
21) copy of birth certificates
22) copy of marriage certificate
23) copy of 2011 federal tax return
24) proof of medical insurance for both
25) criminal history release - letting them check us on the National Sex Offender Registry
26) Onesource applicant disclosure and authorization form - background check clearances
27) Indiana request for a CPS history check for each

Already sent in/done by others:
28) Pastor's endorsement (the first thing returned)
29) references (7)
30) confidential health report for each - sent from doctor's office
31) fingerprinting results

Now we wait for them to process all the background checks.  Once they have everything we will set up the home study visits.  We're getting closer...

Oh and we had 60 days to get everything back in, done in 40.  Yay!

Adoption in pop culture

"The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have.  It was meant to be.  That’s what all the adoption people tell you, anyway.  I like to think it’s true." - Grey's Anatomy

 
I like to think we're special, unique and all that but really, adoption is fairly common.  I know a good number of people who have done it.  It also seems to be prevalent in pop culture.  Two shows I current watch (Parenthood and Smash) have couples going through the adoption process.  On Grey's Anatomy Meridith and McDreamy recently adopted.  The OC (great show) had the main couple adopting (really just taking guardianship of) a teen.  I read the Anne of Green Gables books and watched the tv movies when I was younger.  Marissa and Matthew adopt Anne as a young teen as help around the house but they become very close.  Despicable Me features adoption although a very weird version of it.  My two favorite examples: Friends (best show ever) and Juno.

Season 10 of Friends very prominently featured Monica and Chandler's adoption journey and the show finale was them getting twins.  It won't let me embed but Chandler's speech chokes me up every time. 

When we started this process one of my sister's told me that all she knows about adoption she learned from Friends.  That's not quite how it's been for us.  I don't think any of our reference letters turned out like Joey's.  We very likely won't meet the birth mom months before (although, that would be nice).  However, the joy they have when they get the babies will probably be similar.  And we really wouldn't mind twins too (actually, we'd prefer it...)

I looked and looked and looked but couldn't find the clip from Juno that made me cry years before I knew we'd be headed down the same path.  It's at the end of the movie when Jennifer Garner's character (adoptive mom) goes to the hospital after the baby has been born.  She goes to the nursery and they ask her if she is ready to meet her son.  It sounds really simple but I cry.  I rewatched the movie right when we were starting the process and it make me cry even more.

I know there are probably more examples in tv shows and movies, even that I own, but that's all I got for now.

Q: Now that you're adopting you're going to get pregnant

Q: Now that you're adopting you're going to get pregnant

This isn't a question, it's a statement, but we both have heard it A LOT in the last couple weeks.  People saying "You know how it is, as soon as you adopt you're going to get pregnant."  It was in one of our adoption classes and we were both surprised at how often that's been a response.  According to my adoption book, previously "infertile" couples who adopt have the same rate of pregnancy (5%) as those who are infertile and don't adopt.  Adoption has absolutely no effect on if we'll get pregnant.  It'd be wonderful and we'd definitely welcome it, but it's not any more likely now than before. 

Progress!!

Seems like we made little progress on the paperwork the later part of last week and then in the last 24 hours we've gotten a lot done.  Relatively speaking.  We took those 2 classes last night and today found out we passed (yay!) so printed those certificates for our files.  Took another class tonight (The Journey of Attachment).  Just gotta pass this one and then take one more.  Then another thing we can check off the list.  I'm all about checking things off the list.

I filled out a form tonight about which agency we are working with.  Really not a big deal since we're only working with one (so far) but had to e-mail our social worker to see what to do with it so it just hadn't gotten done.  Still...another one to check off.

And then, the one that scared me the most, I finally got my work verification.  As in I had to tell them.  My boss was shocked.  My favorite part "What am I going to do without you?"  =)  I may complain about my job but, I think, I am pretty dang good at it (most of the time).  Anyways, he asked what that meant for my employment...I asked if we could talk about that after tax season.  Yeah.  Like I said, I know I complain about it but...it will be hard leaving.  This summer will be 7 years and it's made me grow up a lot. 

So, now down to 8 things to check off.  Goal for this week: finish classes, finish asking for recommendations, schedule finger printing,  and print health ins. verification (speaking of health insurance, got my first bills for my MRI and surgery...yep...expensive 4 weeks of morning running).  Maybe get 2 forms notarized??  That'll leave us just the health exams (scheduled), finger printing (almost scheduled) and autobiographies.  We are getting there!!!

Foot and adoption progress

Today has been a really good day for both my foot and the adoption.  First off...my foot.  Had a follow-up appointment at 10 this morning (which ended up being closer to 11).  Got all the dressing off my foot (there were a lot of layers) and got to see my incision for the first time.  Don't look if you are squeamish but it really isn't that bad.

My incision

See, didn't even gross me out.  You can still see my "yes" marking the right ankle and the "JD" is the doctor initialing it to show he agreed.  He was very pleased with how it was healing.  Said there is no infection and everything looks good.  This was the first I had talked to him since my surgery so he explained a little more what he had to do.  There are stitches in my tendon and he got rid of the scar tissue.  Said there was a lot of yellow stuff (??).  And my leg didn't even look gross but it was only closed up for 5 days, I heard horror stories from people who were casted much longer.

He put a light dressing over it and now I have a boot.  I am allowed to gradually put some weight on my foot but still use crutches to walk.  I go back again next week. 

The pain is getting a lot better.  I took my pills before getting up this morning and that was the last time.  It pulls occasionally but really isn't too bad.  If I can stay off the pain pills I won't need the nausea meds which put me to sleep.  That will be better for going back to work. 

Today is my last day at home which is sad.  Once I got the nausea under control being at home has been pretty nice.  Plus today is a just a gorgeous day, we've had blinds open since we've been home, the sun is out.  Really good day to be home. =)

Since we were both home and I was feeling mostly normal we got back to the adoption papers.  I think we made good progress today, finished filling out most of our papers.  Got our reference envelopes ready to go.  Made copies of our licenses, birth certificates, proof of auto insurance, proof of life insurance, copy of our marriage license.  I went through the checklist of everything that needs to be returned and we have about 2/3 done.  Still need to get finger printed, get a health exam, take online parenting classes, get credit reports, write the autobiography, get employment verification, and have a few forms notarized.  That's basically it.  Oh and scan in everything we filled out.  Our goal it to have it all back to Catholic Charities about the end of the month (we have until April 16th).  That'll give them some time to process all our background checks.

From what I've read a lot of people seem to get overwhelmed with the homestudy but that seems like an easier part.  We'll get interviewed and have to have our house spotless but it's the social worker who writes up that whole report.  We don't have anything to hide.  It seems fairly easy for us.  The big thing we have left is the autobiography but even that isn't scaring me as much as it was.  We hope to get through some of the other forms and take the online classes this weekend. 

Made it through surgery, made it through the bridal shower, feel on top of the whole adoption thing.  Life is slowly getting easier. =)

The surgical experience

So this has been a big couple of days for us.  On top of the whole adoption thing I also had surgery last Thursday.  When I first found out I told people it wasn't real surgery because it was only on my foot...I take that back.  Definitely felt real.  Wednesday night I cleaned the house and tried to get things ready for being couch bound.  Did some prep for Kat's shower.  Drank as much water as I could up until 11:59:59 (literally, the last second). 

We had to be at the surgery center at 12:30.  Got all checked in and then waited.  About 1 they took us back so I could change and get all hooked up to the machines (IV, heart monitor, blood pressure, and blood-oxygen finger thing).  That took about 15 minutes.  Then we waited...a long time.  One of those times iPhones really help. 

All hooked up and ready

Had to make sure they got the right ankle.  I already miss it...

I was supposed to have surgery at 2pm.  They didn't even come back to do my block until a little before 3.  Yep...running a little late.  They said the block would be better recovery than general anesthesia.  I got some sleeping drugs in my IV so I don't remember much after that.  I do remember rolling to my right side so it would only numb that leg but I don't remember the actual shot.  Which is good.  The IV needle was scary enough.  Matt was able to come back for another 15 minutes or so before they took me back.  I remember talking to him about our trip and then I remember being in the OR when they were putting up the curtain.  Next thing I knew it was all over.  Surgery was the easiest part of the day!!

Post-surgery, feeling pretty good

I was back to recovery around 4:30.  I don't remember being there without Matt but he said it was about 15 minutes before he came back.  I FINALLY got something to drink.  That was amazing.  The block took most of the rest of the night to wear off so I was feeling pretty good.  We washed the car on the way to Target for my drugs (my idea, it was pretty gross after driving to Michigan).

My view for the last few days

Home and took my drugs right away.  The drugs kept the pain away but also made me nauseous.  Didn't have a very pleasant first 24 hours.  They called another prescription in to help with the nausea and once I got that I was able to mostly stop the puking.  If I get overly ambitious and off the couch too much I get light headed and sick but as long as I'm on the couch I feel pretty normal.  The pain isn't too bad in my foot.  I am hooked up to the cooler most of the time.  Sometimes I can feel the stitches pulling weird and it can take a little while to get comfortable but for the most part it's not too bad. 

We go to the doctor tomorrow (Tuesday) for my first follow-up.  I don't know if I'm getting a boot already or if it'll be another cast.  I know I won't be putting weight on it for awhile still.  I am anxious to see my incision and see how gross my leg got in 5 days.  I'm supposed to be back at work on Wednesday but I highly doubt I'll make it all day judging by how I felt being up a few hours on Sunday.  We'll see how it goes.  All this time on the couch hasn't been too bad at all.  Pretty enjoyable, actually.